Blind Leading The Blind
by FloatingDownARiver
Summary: Not everything works out the way you want it to be....Lucas is learning it the hard way... One decision in the past completely messed up his future...Is there enough time left to get back on track and seek out for help...
1. Mexico

**Blind leading the blin****d**

Author's note: Hi all. I'm starting here my very first story. It will be dark and sometimes a bit disturbing. But trust me everything will make sense in the end. First thank you goes out to Lynn for making me start to write here. Her stories are an inspiration to me.

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill. Sadly the tv-series is belonging to Mark Schwan.

**Chapter 1: Mexico**

_You could see me breathing_

_But__ you still kept_

_Your hand over my mouth_

_You could feel me seething_

_But you just turned_

_Your nose up in the air_

_You only think about yourself_

_You only think about yourself_

* * *

**Los Angeles, September 2011**

He is not asleep.

He just can't sleep anymore.

He sits there on his big king-size bed with the overpriced satin sheets all messed up.

He lights up the cigarette with one slow and mechanical hand move. When he takes a drag and inhales the smoke it makes his mind go numb again.

He smokes the cigarette without even caring about the ashes slowly dripping down on the floor.

"_Lucas__ are__ you listening to me?"_

He barely even raises his head to take a look at the tall and blonde haired woman who is standing right in front of him. She has her arms folded in front of her chest looking at him with an empty expression in her eyes.

"_I said that I slept with him__ Lucas."_

He does not stir up or even flinch after hearing this last words.

The blonde woman shakes her head furiously in disbelief.

"_Did you hear me__ Lucas?"_ she says fiercely trying to evoke some emotions out of the impassive man sitting on the bed in front of her.

He raises his hand to take another drag and then slowly exhales the smoke untroubled by the presence of the enraged woman.

She is about to turn around and leave but the boiling rage gets a hold of her.

The sound of the slap enters and abandons the room in an instant. Only the ticking of the wall clock breaks the silence monotonously.

"_What do you want from me, Peyton_" he says with a firm and lethargic voice.

The woman backs off a few steps and looks at the man she once loved with all of her heart and soul. He was always her savior, her bridge over troubled water. But times have changed in the past few years since they got back together. Not the times changed, actually he changed. She got stronger every year and he weaker every minute they spend together since he published his last book. The writer's block sucked the life out of his piercing blue eyes and left her being in a relationship with a bitter, broken and heartless man.

She has to abandon her thoughts as the man starts speaking quietly.

"_Listen Peyton, it is pretty clear this isn't working anymore. You can tell him that we are even. I once screwed the mother of his __child and now he got back at me by sleeping with you._"

The expression in the woman's eyes rapidly shifts from anger to pure hatred and disgust.

_"This is all you have got to say? Am I this unimportant to you?"_ she furiously screams.

He takes another drag and inhales the smoke calmly. Then he just shrugs his shoulders.

_"So that's it? You throw away our relationship without even trying to fight for it?" _she stutters in shock.

He slowly raises his head to finally look into her eyes.

She can't avert her eyes and holds her breath. His look gives away all the answers.

It is blank. No sadness, no hope, no love.

She turns around to avoid looking into his eyes and whispers _"What happened to you, Lucas Scott?" _

Time passes by with only the ticking of the wall clock audible.

She grabs her coat and opens the door. She turns around hoping to see him run after her.

But he just sits there on the bed staring into space.

He hears her slamming the door.

Then he slowly stubs out the cigarette.

* * *

Author's note: The first chapter is a little bit short. But I'll definitely make it up to you guys. 

Every review is appreciated.

Daniel


	2. Always Be

**Blind leading the blind**

Author's note: Hey guys. It is me again. I'm updating the story again because on weekends I have more time to write. With the nice and encouraging reviews you made me so happy. Just have to mention that usually I don't write stories in another language than my own. But I'm always up for a challenge.

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill. Sadly the tv-series is belonging to Mark Schwahn.

**Chapter 2: Always Be**

_I was just a boy like every other_

_I thought I was something fierce_

_I thought I was ten times smarter_

_Love would be something that I just know_

_(Something I just know)_

_How you __gonna__ know the feeling till you've lost it_

_I've been losing plenty since_

* * *

Los Angeles, September 2011

Lucas turns off the shower and grabs a towel.

He is late again for the meeting with his book editor Lindsey. It is the third time this week she had to reschedule because as usual he overslept or was even to drunk to show up.

As long as Peyton was living with him she kept him in check and forced him to go to the meetings. But with her gone Lucas had no one around to care about him keeping his life on track.

He quickly puts on some washed out jeans, a vintage t-shirt and a pair of old flip flops.

He reaches into the fridge to drink some milk but the only thing he finds there are some foul leftovers from the pizza he ordered three days ago.

He lets out a loud groan and grabs his car keys.

It is another hot and sticky day in Los Angeles. Like always the traffic is already crowded as hell. Lucas slowly drives towards Lindsey's office located in Downtown. He usually enjoys driving through the city in his fancy convertible.

But today he somehow feels tense. Maybe it is because the alcohol finally wears off or he knows what it is going to happen when he has to face Lindsey.

* * *

_"Well if this isn__'t famous novelist turned asshole Lucas Scott gracing me with his presence in my humble office!"_ Lindsey says sarcastically as she sees Lucas entering the room. 

_"Look __Linds__' …I'm really __sorr__…"_ Lucas tries to say smiling sheepishly at his boss.

_"Luke you can spare me the lame apologies and get to the point"_ the brunette woman says in a bored voice.

_"Well…you know I told you that I have some money issues and want my pay check getting cashed in a bit earlier"_ Lucas stutters ashamed of himself.

_"How about you come in here and bring me some new story of yours. Besides I believe Peyton will be sorry if she denies you your daily dose of booze."_

_"__Linds__' this is kind of the problem. Peyton a__nd I broke up a week ago and __I ran out of cash"_ Lucas blurts out.

_"Hmm.__ So you got rid of __rockstar__ girly. Serio__usly you scare off every __girl. What did she do to you?"_ Lindsey says inquisitively.

Lucas shrugs his shoulders and responds _"What about the money __Linds__'?"_

_"__Well if I was you__ maybe I would try to start writing again or at least stop drowning myself in sorrow. Come on Luke, when was the last time you wrote something meaningful? And for your information…the greeting__ card__ you wrote last week for your godson's sixth birthday do__es__n't count."_

Lucas scratches his head trying to justify his current state of mind.

_"It is okay. __You will get your money. Just d__on't try too__ hard to make up some pathetic answer. I__ don't want your __pretty __head to __explode any time some"_ Lindsey giggles.

Lucas stands up and hugs her quickly.

_"I knew I can count on you __Linds__'!"_ he shouts deeply grateful as he walks out of the office.

* * *

It is a bit past 6 pm and Lucas is out for a run on the pier. As he finally slows down to catch some breath he finds himself standing in front of some book store. 

As he skims through the window display something sparks his interest.

They are still having ads for his book spread all over the place although it was published over a year ago. But the thing that really catches his attention is the gorgeous woman standing next to the shelf with his books. She has long brunette hair and a perfectly tanned body. She wears a cute innocent summer dress which can barely cover her beautiful curves.

She is reading his book looking like she is genuinely into it.

Lucas opens the door to the store and slowly approaches her.

He takes a book off the shelf and asks discomposedly _"Excuse me. Is this book any good?"_

The woman startles a bit and looks at the man talking to her.

_"I just read the first couple of pages but I already have the impression it is something like The Notebook. You know the typical epic love story fi__lled with drama, angst and cheesy__ love declarations."_ the woman says being pretty annoyed.

_"So you __think it is a lost cause?"_ Lucas asks curiously.

_"Maybe I will give it a shot if the writer is cute."_ the woman answers as she turns around the book and looks at the back cover.

Then she realizes who she is talking to and confusedly squeals _"It is you!"_

_"Well I am always interested in hearing an honest opinion about my book"_ Lucas says smiling rascally.

_"I feel so embarrassed. I'm sorry for __bashing your book"_ the woman says in honesty.

_"So can I invite you to my place for a drink to __criticize my work __some more?"_ he asks bluntly.

The woman reaches out and shakes his hand.

* * *

As it turns out he and Sarah don't even make it to his apartment without tearing each others clothes off. Lucas has already the major part of his jeans unbuttoned and the straps of Sarah's dress are hanging loosely down her shoulders as they enter his apartment. 

Immediately they start making out.

Lucas pushes Sarah against the wall and starts kissing her neck. She runs her fingers through his short blonde hair in excitement.

Lucas pulls her dress down without even trying to be careful. Sarah unbuttons his jeans feeling the pure lust getting a hold of her whole body.

With a quick motion Lucas picks her up and carries her to the bedroom.

* * *

He can't sleep, again. 

Sarah is lying next to him breathing in slow and even waves. She is a beautiful girl and no doubt fun to be around. But he feels restless and ashamed of himself.

He can't bear it anymore to feel her warm body.

He slowly gets up trying not to wake up Sarah.

As he grabs his jeans and puts them on her eyelashes flutter for a moment.

But she keeps on breathing regularly.

On his way to the patio he picks up the package of cigarettes which fell out of his pocket during his wild encounter with Sarah.

He slides open the door to the patio and shivers as a gust of wind hits his body.

He seats himself on a wooden armchair.

He lights up a cigarette and takes a drag.

As he inhales the smoke he watches the waves of the ocean approaching the beach in an incalculable way.

The last words Peyton said crawl back into his mind.

_"What happened to you, Lucas Scott?"_

* * *

Author's note:

Chelsea – I'm glad you like the story. Hmm, you already have some theories? Interesting...

Chey – As Mark obviously can't write that well I have to save the honor of the male writers LOL + I have to keep up with the beautiful stories you write

Toddntan – Lucas does not care…but it is not this way just to upset the LP fans :-)

Whiters – Thanks for your kind review

Photobooth romance – I read your profile and I'm honored that you read my story. I'm always up for some constructive criticism and hope to learn more about writing. And I like your taste in music…


	3. Tongue Tied

**Blind leading the blind**

Author's note: Hey guys. I know that I suck for not updating all this time. I really am sorry for not keeping my promise. The past weeks I had to study so much for a big exam. So I really did not want to write under this pressure and stress. You deserve a great chapter and not some lame garbage. I hope that you like this. "Oh"…I almost forgot to point out that this is not an AU story. This is my take on season 5 mixed with some minor spoilers.

P.S. : I hope that you recognized that there exists this button on the bottom left side of the page with "Submit A Review" written all over it…just kidding…I love every review and encourage you all to share your thoughts….

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill. Sadly the tv-series is belonging to Mark Schwahn. If I did own it then season 5 would definitely have at least one Brooke/Lucas/Jamie scene.

**Chapter 3: Tongue Tied**

_I'm tongue tied _

_Waiting _

_Hoping _

_And praying _

_So near _

_Yet so far_

_Alone _

_Together_

* * *

Los Angeles, March 2011

"So what do you think I should wear?" Lucas shouts to his girlfriend.

He is still in his boxers and without the slightest idea of what is an appropriate attire for a movie premiere.

"Luke I don't know. This is your kind of world and not mine. I'm not going to fancy important events." Peyton answers while flipping the pancakes she is cooking in the kitchen.

"Well Peyt, this is a bit important to me. Look, the movie is based on my book. So I have to show up. If I don't, Lindsey will definitely kick my ass." Lucas says in a bemused way shifting from one foot to the other.

Peyton easefully takes the pan off the stove and peeks into the bedroom.

"Okay, you got my attention. How can I help you hun?" she smiles swiftly.

"So do you think I really need to wear a monkey suit?" Lucas says feeling queasy.

Peyton walks up to him and pinches one of his cheeks saying "Oh hun, does somebody have a little bit of a stage fright?"

Lucas rolls his eyes anxiously. "Come on Peyt, don't be silly. What do you suggest I should wear?"

"Whatever you want Luke. Maybe you should wear the tux Lindsey bought for you last week." the blonde haired woman provokingly murmurs.

"Stop it Peyt. I told you there is no need to be jealous of Lindsey. She is my boss and a great friend. There is nothing more going on." Lucas explains trying to reassure his girlfriend.

"Yeah sure. My boss doesn't call me all day and buys me expensive clothes." Peyton states bluntly.

"Please Peyton, spare me the lecture. She bought me the tux because you forgot to do it. But I'm sure you don't remember since you were too caught up with your recording sessions." Lucas exclaims with an annoyed tone in his voice.

"I'm sorry that I have to work. Not everybody can be paid for suffering from a case of writer's block" Peyton shouts furiously.

Lucas tries to stay calm and runs his hand through his hair. He is boiling with rage. This is not the first time Peyton picks up a fight with him over absolute nonsense. Actually the past couple of weeks they were constantly getting on each other's nerves without even trying to resolve some of their issues. Peyton is working too much trying to launch her own record label. He is feeling depressed all the time figuring out what is the cause of his ongoing writer's block.

As the blonde woman starts to talk again Lucas snaps out of his thoughts…

"So you are still mad that I am not going to this movie thing with you?" Peyton asks in disbelief.

Lucas picks up the tuxedo which is spread on the bed. He slowly starts to get dressed.

"It doesn't even matter anymore. Lindsey agreed to be my date for the evening" he responds impassively.

"You know what Lucas. Why don't you spend the night at precious little Lindsey's place!" Peyton scoffs while rushing out of the room.

Lucas just shrugs his shoulders and puts on the bow tie.

* * *

The moment he gets out of the car and steps on the red carpet Lucas has this weird and confusing feeling crawling down his spine. He can not really describe it or even tell why he feels this way. It is not the flashing light of the paparazzo's cameras he really hates or the huge amount of attention he is not used to generate. Something bothers him deeply. 

Quickly Lucas enters the movie theater brushing off his bemusing thoughts.

* * *

After the applause has died down and the lights went on the actors, producers, director and screenplay writer walk up to the stage for a short Q&A. 

Lucas sits on his chair behind the large table staring into space. He feels really awkward and intimidated by the press and the couple of hundred people sitting in the audience. Everyone is staring at him anxiously. So to avoid answering any questions he is almost all the time looking down on his hands which are placed on the table.

"I'm Amy Adams from the New York Post. Mr. Scott, can you tell us how involved you were in the process of making this movie?" a short and pretty young looking journalist asks.

Lucas startles a little and lets out a quiet sigh.

This is why Peyton should have been here this evening. He hates it to be the center of attention. Sometimes he even regrets it that he left the Rivercourt to play for the Tree Hill Ravens. Sure he enjoyed the popularity and the fame especially after hitting the last shot for the win of the state championships. But life was so much easier at that time when he was just sitting in his mother's old café drinking hot chocolate with Haley.

Now everybody wanted to know something about his personal life and the characters of the book. Peyton could calm him down now and distract him…

_"Well to be quite honest I wasn't really that much involved in the development of the movie. My publisher approached me the minute he sold the rights __of the book__After this I had one meeting with the director and the screenplay writer. They wanted to know some more details about the characters and the storylin__e__s__. We talked about all this stuff for a couple of hours and that's it…"_ he answers in a low, almost inaudible voice.

"Tom Stewart for Entertainment Weekly. Mr. Scott, are you pleased with the outcome of this adaptation of your book?"

Lucas smiles quizzically and says _"__It is __somehow a little bit different than my book. __You can't really compare the work of a teenager and a world famous director. At the time I wrote this novel I was 17 years old. I lived in this really tiny town in some kind of a bubble and had a really unrealistic opinion on life. I was naïve and very self centered__ back then__The movie gives the audience a diverse and more down-to-earth perspective on my teenage thoughts. This makes m__e__ really happy and I think the cast and crew did a great job there."_

"Andrew Miller for the Los Angeles Times. Mr. Scott, is there any thing you would like to change about the movie?"

Lucas grabs the bottle placed on the table and pours some water into his glass. He takes a big gulp and furrows his brows.

_"You know w__ith a movie you have maybe 90 or if you are lucky 120 minutes to tell a story. There is not enough time to go that much into detail like in a book__… __"_ he tries to respond to the question but gets interrupted by a roaring laughter.

It is the first time that he raises his head to actually look at the journalists and the curious crowd waiting for his answer.

He feels a little bit confused about this laughter and scans the crowd with his blue eyes to locate the source of the disturbance.

As he spots the tall blonde girl who is trying to choke down her giggles this weird feeling gets a hold of him again. His body grows stiff in an instant and his hands start to tremble.

He can't believe what his eyes are seeing. He actually has to close them for a second to withstand the cold shiver rushing through his body.

It is not this blonde girl that makes his heart beat faster but the somehow familiar brunette woman sitting next to her who is trying to avert her gaze.

_"Mr. Scott, did you understand my question?"_ the slightly puzzled journalist asks.

Lucas leaves his trail of thoughts but can't really stop staring at the brunette woman his eyes are magically glued to. So he just takes a short glance at the journalist and starts to speak.

_"Yeah sure. Well this is a very interesting question. A book can give you so much background information on the character__'__s behavior, their thoughts and feelings. In comparison to a movie you often need to explain a lot to the readers so that they can understand the mo__tivation of the protagonist. D__espite the fact that the director and the screenplay writer did cut some storylines I honestly understand why they had to do __it__."_ he mutters more to himself than into the microphone.

Now it is the first time that the brunette woman looks straight into his eyes. He holds his breath for a split second and runs his fingers through his hair.

She is as pretty as she was the last time he saw her. Not to exaggerate or to sound corny but she is still the most beautiful girl he has ever seen. You can tell by the shape of her face and the look in her eyes that she matured a lot. It is not like the typical aging process of every other person. She seems to be a lot more mellow, sophisticated and graceful.

As she shoots him this really small and almost invisible smile his knees turn to jelly.

He is amazed and baffled that her appearance has still such an effect on him.

His eyes brighten up and he coughs abruptly.

He hastily reaches out for the glass and takes another big gulp without loosing the sight of her.

_"Tony Gibson for the Charlotte Observer. Mr. Scott, can you tell us something about your upcoming novel?"_

Lucas smirks and stutters _"At the moment I'm not really sure that there is ever going to be another book. You know, I suffer from some major writer's block. It is more than a couple of __months ago that I have written something meaningful. I somehow lost my inspiration and the passion to keep on writing."_

He looks with so much tension and excitement into the brunette woman's eyes that it is the first time that he really takes a closer look at her. Her eyes would always reflect her true emotions and he was astonished that he was still able to read every single thought of hers.

His heart started to sting and his pulse frantically increased.

He saw the raging sorrow in her eyes and the blank expression meeting his gaze.

She wasn't looking like she is angry, furious or disappointed. She was staring at him with eyes full of sadness and dejection.

He remembered all the previous times in Highschool that she had felt this way. Immediately he knew what induced this kind of pain.

_"Ryan Thomas for Cinematical. Mr. Scott, can you please tell us what is your favorite excerpt of the book that the director of the movie did not use for the script?"_

Lucas plays nervously with his bow tie and reaches out again for the bottle on the table to pour himself some water into the empty glass. Suddenly he looses grip on the bottle with his sweaty palms. You can hear the disturbing sound of glass shattering in a hundred pieces.

Lucas flinches and looks down to the ground to examine the mess he just caused.

As he raises his head to search the crowd for the familiar brunette's face he was intensely staring at all the time he spots the empty seat next to the blonde girl.

She is gone.

He lets out a noisy sigh and closes his eyes.

His hands are trembling again and with a shaky and weak voice he recites…

_"She was fiercely independent. Brooke Davis. Brilliant, and beautiful and brave. In two years she had grown more than anyone I had ever known. Brooke Davis is going to change the world someday. I'm not sure she even knows it."_

He opens the door to the bedroom just to sneak a peek at his girlfriend sleeping peacefully with a content smile on her face. He closes the door without making a sound and heads out to the patio. He is feeling restless. As the waves of the ocean hit the shore he starts to write down the numerous thoughts occupying his mind.

* * *

Author's note:

Chelsea – I'm so glad that you like the story. Hope that you are not mad at me for updating this late…

Chey – I'd love to see Lucas being drunk on the show. Maybe he would remember who his true love is….and yes, he is definitely in the phase of screwing random girls…Guess what is next???

Toddntan – With season 5 starting 4 years into the future I really would like Lucas to be more edgy and grown up. I hope that you liked this insight into his current state of mind….

Whiters – As I stated above this is my take on season 5 mixed with some minor spoilers…

Photobooth romance – I want to establish this story in a slow way…this chapter gives you the first insight into Lucas's motives…I hope that this is a bit satisfying…

Daniel


	4. On A String

**Blind Leading The Blind**

Author's note: Hey guys. I'm back. I'm really sorry that you had to wait again for such a long time for an update. But I promise you with the Christmas holidays starting in a week I'll have enough time to write. You can expect to get much more chapters till the end of the year.

If I do not update before Christmas I wish you all fantastic holidays and lots of presents…

This chapter is dedicated to Lynn. Thanks for everything hun…

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill. Sadly the TV-series is belonging to Mark Schwahn.

**Chapter 4: On A String**

_My life's on a string  
I'll do anything  
to get myself back.  
I hang by a thread,  
oh let's go to bed  
and get ourselves back. _

* * *

Los Angeles, March 2011

"…_I call myself a writer and therefore I should have the ability to express my thoughts and feelings in sophisticated and captivating phrases. But as of lately I haven't actually even tried to put some words onto a sheet of paper. I feel so empty and restless. I am awake at night staring on the screen of my notebook without typing down anything…I don't have a story to tell or any crappy notion to share. People tell me I should start writing sappy love novels or screenplays for TV and the big screen. They always remind me that this is L.A. and that after some time everybody would start to sell out. But this isn't really me. Sure I could use the money and for once satisfy the demands of my editor and publisher. _

_However there has to be more. There used to be more. _

_Damn it…I was the guy who memorized the ravishing quotes of Steinbeck, Hawthorne and Shakespeare. _

_I loved reading books in highschool. You did never see me sitting at the breakfast table or at lunch without a book in my hands. I devoured almost every famous and not so famous novel back then. Writing was always a dream of mine. Sure basketball was my top priority and it is still one of the most important things in my life. However writing was this special gift that made me understand myself so much more. How many times have I stood in front of somebody and couldn't say out loud what was rushing through my mind? Instead writing was the vent for the pain, the sorrow and the silence. Now I'm at a loss for words again. _

_Writing kept me alive all these years…after I got the positive results back regarding my heart condition and the news of Keith passing away it was the only thing that held me back from going insane. Every single word I wrote picked up a little piece of my shattered heart and slowly put it back together. I never believed it that writing could have this effect on me or even be my future._

_She believed in me. _

_She was there all these nights. _

_She held my hand and caressed my hair._

_She whispered sweet and soothing words into my ear._

_With her support and unconditional love my life got a new perspective. _

_She gave me the strength and courage to get back on my feet and pursue my dream._

_Without her I would not be a writer…_

_And I didn't even get the chance to thank her for that._

_Why is it that we don't ever recognize the important things in our lives while they are happening? We are often too preoccupied with ideas, thoughts and ourselves to not take everything for granted. And it is usually the time when we loose everything that matters to us that we realize how wrong we have been…how much we need somebody._

_The sad thing is that I have never seen Brooke again since highschool. We had this special bond back then and I don't understand it how we did not keep in touch. It pains me not to know how she is living her life. _

_Where she is residing. _

_Who she is spending her life with …and most importantly if she has achieved all her dreams and conquered the world…_

_Suddenly I got the chance tonight to look into this kind and comforting hazel eyes again. _

_Every little emotion and moment we shared crawled back into my mind…it was as if I stepped out of the dark into glistening light._

_She gave me this small and almost invisible smile that calmed me down in an instant._

_But despite all this newly awoken feelings I saw the deep sorrow still lingering in her eyes._

_The sorrow I caused all these years ago. _

_And then she walked out of my life again." _

* * *

New York, March 2011

"_I said that I want this dress all ready and set when I come back from the premiere."_ Brooke says with a disgruntled look on her face.

She clenches her fists and exhales deeply watching Rachel shrug her shoulders and shooting her one of the famous death glares she exercised to perfection.

"_Rachel what is there not to understand at all? I think it is pretty simple. When I say let the couturier tailor the dress over the weekend I sure as hell mean it. I don't care if he is not comprehending my sketches or in Cabo screwing my publicist."_ Brooke exclaims snidely.

Rachel shifts her weight from one foot to the other and folds her arms in front of her chest.

"_Well if this ain't our always oh so charming and cheerful boss. Glad to have you back home Brookie. I hope the Californian sun hasn't fried your last remaining brain cells. We need your creative wit for the upcoming winter collection. Your coffee and the newspaper are on your desk in your office."_

And with that the redheaded woman turns on her heels and leaves.

Brooke watches her storm off and glares furiously at the other employees eavesdropping.

She shakes her head in incomprehension and proceeds to step into her personal office.

It is one of these big offices with large windows facing the Central Park and its surroundings.

This is her own little safe zone. The place where she can escape from of all of the deadlines and the demands of the press or the other designers. Here she has her comfortable leather armchair, the huge wooden desk, her computer, a phone and most importantly her sketch-pad. She does not need much more except for maybe every now and then a hot cup of coffee and Caesars salad for lunch.

Brooke slips out of her cream colored Burberry trench coat and slumps down into the armchair. She kinks her eyebrows and takes a little sip from the steaming coffee mug placed next to her phone. Then she unfolds the newspaper and searches for the article Rachel has as always already highlighted.

"_A stunning looking Reese Witherspoon shows up at the premiere of her new movie with latest conquest Jake Gyllenhaal"_.

Brooke chuckles and almost burns her bottom lip drinking the hot coffee as she remembers that Reese confidentially admitted that her relationship with Jake is nothing more than another publicity stunt. Poor girl still has to recover from her last horrible movie Rendition.

However Brooke is too impatient to read the whole article so she scans it for the lines Rachel highlighted.

"_Miss Witherspoon revealed in our interview session on the red carpet that her dress for the premiere was designed by non other than hot and upcoming fashion designer Brooke Davis. Davis accompanied Reese to the premiere and was happy to confess that she is not anymore designing her clothes under the contract of Victoria's Secret but starting her own label this year called Clothes over Bros…" _Brooke smiles contentedly and is about to turn over the page as another sentence catches her attention_…_

"_Lucas Scott, the critically acclaimed novelist also attended the premiere screening. The movie is based on his latest book and therefore Mr. Scott was present to join the Q&A after the screening. Later that night we tried to talk Mr. Scott into commenting on his relationship with Brooke Davis as we were curious to find out why he mentioned her name in his book. Sadly Mr. Scott was close-lipped and refused to issue a statement."_

Brooke frowns and quickly tosses the newspaper into the trash can. She mustn't think about him right now. There is too much work to do. She has to sketch out about 5 dresses today for the winter collection and the meeting with her former boss at Victoria's Secret is still scheduled for lunch. Furthermore her mother talked her into attending another movie premiere tonight. Victoria is keen on spreading the word on Brooke's launch of the Clothes over Bros fashion line this summer.

As Brooke starts to draw the first draft of a dark blue colored, strapless gown somebody knocks on the door.

Then the head of familiar redheaded woman peaks into the room. Brooke does not stir up or even lays down her pencil.

Rachel clears her throat while suspiciously eyeing the trash can.

"_What! What is wrong again now Rachel? Has the couturier already started to tailor the dress?"_ Brooke barks keeping her eyes focused on the sketch-pad.

Rachel lets out an annoyed sigh and slams the door shut.

"_Stop it right now slut. I know how much it sucks to be famous fashion designer Brooke Davis, earning a whole lot of money and screwing the most eligible bachelors in town. Tough luck, missy. But I swear if you ever humiliate me one more time in front of the whole office I'll rip out every single strand of your hair."_

Brooke buries her face in her hands and stays silent for a moment.

"_I'm really sorry Rach. This weekend was a mess. The trip to L.A. was a complete disaster."_ she barely whispers.

Rachel sighs and sits on the desk next to Brooke. She starts to rub circles on her back to calm her down. Then she says in a soothing voice _"You did see him in L.A, right?"_

Brooke stares into space and silently nods her head in agreement.

* * *

Los Angeles, September 2011

It is way past 10am and he is still in bed watching the recaps of last nights Lakers vs. Cavaliers game. The bed sheets are all messed up and his clothes are scattered on the floor. He is sipping a beer and eating waffles. The door to the patio is wide open and a chilly gust of wind hits his body. He has no intention to get up any time soon to write or to clean up his apartment. He just wants to stay all day in bed and wait for the sun to set. Then he can go out to search for another girl to screw.

He switches to another channel and proceeds to watch some stupid talk show.

All of a sudden the phone starts to ring. He not even flinches and tries to ignore the annoying sound distracting him from the TV.

The voice mail kicks in and then a familiar voice starts talking.

_"Luke. It's me, Nate. Care to pick up the phone douchebag? I have to tell you something man. Come on pick up the damn phone! You know I wouldn't call if it isn't something serious…Damn it Luke…Whitey died last night. The funeral is on Saturday 2pm…"_

He slowly averts his eyes from the TV screen and looks at the little red light blinking consistently on the answering machine. Then he presses a button and listens to the voice mail again.

* * *

Author's note:

whiters (Whitney???) – I'm so glad that you liked the previous chapter…I want to tell the story from both Lucas's and Brooke's point of view. Therefore I have to take you back to their past…to really understand what is going on..

photobooth romance – I'm really sorry that I have disappointed you…with the next chapter the story will move on and get going…

Chelsea – Thanks again for your kind review…it means a lot to me…hope you enjoy this chapter + don't be mad at me 

Chey - Luke has definitely still a soft spot for his Brooke…Peyton annoying??? …never did I say that 

B.P. Davis – Watch out for the next chapters…there will be much more Brucas interaction…


	5. Paper Boats

**Blind Leading The Blind**

Author's note: Okay…I didn't quite make it till Christmas but I am updating now. Hope you all had some fantastic and peaceful holidays with your families and friends. If you want to be generous and give me a belated present please review.

I know I promised you some BL interaction…I'm sorry but I like to tease :-)

P.S. If I don't update again I wish you all a Happy New Year!

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill. Sadly the TV-series is belonging to Mark Schwahn

**Chapter 5: Paper Boats**

_Sit on a train, reading a book  
Same damn planet every time I look  
Try to relax and slow my heartbeat  
Only works when I'm dead asleep  
Been thinking and drinking all over the town  
Must be gearing up for some kind of melt-down_

* * *

Los Angeles, September 2011 

"_So Luke, please remind me again why I'm driving you to the airport?? You have not written anything since I can't tell when, the publisher is bugging me 24/7 to kick your ass to the curb and you don't even bother to call me in weeks!"_ Lindsey exclaims gesticulating wildly with her right hand while navigating the car with her other free hand.

Lucas just shrugs. He contemplates to tell her what made him call her all of a sudden and ask for this favor but in the end he comes to the conclusion to stay silent. Lindsey is a bit nosey, not in a bothersome way. But he knows if he starts to explain to her why his life is so messed up right now she would not stop to ask more questions. So he stoically proceeds to stare out of the window trying to ignore her penetrating glances.

It is a day in late September. The sun is already shining high above the indigo blue sky. There is not a single cloud visible and the first surfers are already scattered across the beach waiting for the pearly white waves to hit the shore.

The air is humid and somewhat stale. There is no indication of any kind of gust.

His white shirt is stuck to his body only leaving the sleeves dangling down his arms. Every now and then the slipstream springs up and sends cold chills down his spine.

As he stares out of the window he remembers all of the times he spent at home in Tree Hill at the beach. How he walked slowly by the shore listening to his favorite song or sat on a blanket reading a book. He wonders how the past year and half he never bothered to go to the beach. He has an apartment nearby and actually lives in L.A. But somehow Peyton never liked the beach that much and he did not have enough spare time to bathe in the sun.

A little smile creeps over his face as he lets his mind trail off into a certain memory from the past.

"_Aren't you afraid to swim alone?"_

Somebody nudges him and Lucas flinches a little. He starts to drum nervously with his fingers on the car dashboard while biting his lower lip.

"_Luke, we are almost at the airport. Time to wake up sleepy head"_ Lindsey shouts trying to hold back her giggles.

"_Yeah, it's about time."_ he groans loudly running his hand through his already messed up hair.

"_Don't be so grumpy Luke. You are going home to Tree Hill. I bet your friends and family will be delighted to see you again."_ Lindsey says while giving him a friendly pat on the shoulder.

As he does not have the urge to carry on a conversation with Lindsey Lucas just nods his head in agreement.

Lindsey is used to this kind of answers and therefore straight ahead pulls into the parking lot.

Lucas immediately opens the door and proceeds to open the trunk to get his luggage.

Then he quickly lights up a cigarette and greedily takes a drag.

He inhales the smoke and wipes the sweat off of his face with his sleeve.

Lindsey steps out of the car and can't hold back her laughter anymore.

"_You are really something else Lucas Scott. Didn't your mother teach you any good manners? Usually a gentleman opens the door for the girl." _she sneers.

With the cigarette in the corner of his mouth he can't offer her a big smile but manages it to shoot her a sheepish grin.

She really got used to his behavior in the past year and half. At first she did not like him at all as they met in a meeting with the publisher of his book. Sure he was obviously good looking and charming but it seemed as if he was a bit too bigheaded. She often got into these big fights with him over the details of his book. He definitely knew how to push her buttons with his cocky attitude and self-absorbed comments. But she knew how to fight back and unnerve him to death. Not until she read his book completely Lindsey learned how to read Lucas's mind and decipher his personality. With every page she turned over it began to dawn on her how much of a troubled man he was. Sometimes he surprised her when late at night he started to spill some secrets from his past. But as suddenly as he started to open up he quickly build up this invisible wall around him again. She often was astonished to see that not even his girlfriend Peyton could heal his wounds. So he more and more he started to isolate himself from all of them.

As Lucas stubs out the cigarette the blonde haired girl shifts her weight from one foot to the other.

"_Thanks for picking me up and driving my lazy ass to the airport Linds."_ he says in an appreciative voice.

The girl smiles knowingly and embraces him into a friendly hug. Then he gives her a quick kiss on the cheek and draws his sunglasses up.

Lindsey turns on her heels and walks back to her car.

Lucas gaze trails off to the airport in front of him as he lights up another cigarette.

He slowly takes a deep drag and exhales the smoke with a noisy sigh.

* * *

New York, September 2011

The fashion show isn't scheduled for another two weeks but Brooke is already working full time to organize every little detail to its perfection. She has to pick out the models for the show, put on the finishing touches on the dresses and send out tons of invitations to the press, celebrities and business partners. But this is still not all of it. While doing all these things Victoria, Brooke's mother is constantly supervising her.

"_Brooke, don't you think this skirt should be at least covering the girl's ass?"_ Victoria points out with a disgusted smirk on her face.

Brooke rolls her eyes trying to ignore her mother's comments. She proceeds to instruct the model on how to walk down the runway without delivering too much insight while wearing the skirt.

As the young girl walks down the runway and accidentally trips Victoria shrieks.

"_Brooke, this girl can't even walk straight on. Do you really want to let somebody like this represent your clothing line?"_

Brooke goes up to the model and offers her a hand to help her stand up. The girl blushes and stares onto the ground afraid of another fit of rage.

Brooke gives her an encouraging pat on the shoulder and then lets her take a short break.

Victoria folds her arms in front of her chest and shoots Brooke an ice cold glare.

"_Brooke when will you ever learn it. This is the fashion business. There is no room for pity or any excuses. If you don't teach this girl how to work the runway she will embarrass you out there. This show has to be flawless. Everybody expects perfection from you"_ she scolds.

Brooke's bottom lip trembles as she has almost reached her boiling point. She knows that this is a good opportunity to vent all of her anger and frustration. But she feels too drained and empty to pick up another fight with her mother. It simply doesn't make any sense to argue with her. Therefore she just lets out a silent sigh.

All of a sudden Brooke's cell phone rings and gives her a notice of an incoming text message.

"_Hey slut. I picked up your dress and brought it over to your apartment for the party. Your mum told me that your date will show up at 8pm sharp. _

_P.S. Don't drink too much and screw over any strangers. You know this is my specialty."_

Brooke shakes her head in disbelief and wrinkles her nose.

Fantastic…another party she has to attend and that her mother forgot to actually tell her about.

--------

It is long past midnight as Brooke opens the door to her apartment.

She hangs up her jacket on the coat rack and slips out of her heels.

Slowly she walks to the living room and slumps down on the comfortable sofa with the huge cushions.

Only the moonlight illuminates the room and casts some distorted shadows over Brooke.

She stretches her legs and tries to a yawn. As she is about to close her eyes for a second Brooke spots the blinking red light of the answering machine.

She rubs her temples with her fingertips and walks to the answering machine.

"_You got three new messages"_ the mechanical voice says as Brooke pushes the button.

_"Brooke. It's your mom. Don't forget your meeting with the journalist from Glamour magazine tomorrow at noon."_

……

_"Hello Miss Davis. This is Adam Jones speaking. As promised we will tomorrow afternoon deliver the carpet you purchased last week. Miss Gattina told us she will be at your place to let us in. I hope this is okay with you."_

…..

Brooke groans and walks back to the living room. With a sad expression on her face she stares out of the window and watches the cars on the street drive by. Although it is pretty late some people are still strolling down the sidewalks enjoying one of the last warm nights of the summer.

"_Brooke? If this is still your phone number please call me back! Something happened and I don't want to talk about it here. It is important. Please call me back!" _

* * *

Tree Hill, September 2011

As Lucas leaves the airport no one is there to greet him and drive him to Tree Hill.

So he takes a cab to get to the town. Driving by the sign which welcomes the visitors to Tree Hill Lucas feels his heart sting. He never imagined it that he would come back home under the given circumstances. Sure he graduated from college and started to live his dream by publishing his first book but he always figured this would be his home eventually. Somehow along the way everything kind of went wrong.

After he got his degree at UNC several companies approached him to sign a contract. But he decided to move to Los Angeles to live together with Peyton. Their relationship status during these years could be described more or less like an on and off thing. He struggled to publish his book and then suffered from some strenuous writer's block. She started an internship at some record label trying move up to the top of the food chain. Often he contemplated to leave L.A. behind him and head back to Tree Hill. But as Peyton launched her own company Lucas was bound to stay put.

Now as he was driving through the town in the cab it hit him pretty hard how much he actually missed Tree Hill. The past three years he didn't visit his mum and Lilly for the holidays. Nathan and Haley along with his godson James were just a blur in his mind, every now and then awoken by a greeting card or pictures from family festivities.

The driver motions to Lucas that he reached the desired location. Lucas grabs his bags and hands the man some cash. As he opens the door of the car the sunlight blends his sight so that he has to put a hand over his eyes to take a look at his surroundings.

It surprises him how little has changed. The house is still looking like he left it the other day to move to UNC. Sure the fence is painted in another color now but other than that everything still looks exactly the same. Nervously he searches for the keys in the pocket of his jeans and proceeds to open the door to his room.

He sneaks a little peek into the room and chuckles lightly. It looks very different now that his little sister is living here. The walls are all painted pink and the posters of his basketball idols are replaced with some of the hip teen bands. The place where his desk with the large bookshelves was looks now more like a dressing table.

Then something odd catches Lucas's attention. He moves closer to the table to get a better look at the collage.

It consists of a bunch of pictures from Lilly's previous birthday bashes and family gatherings.There is one with James and her where the little boy smears ice cream all over her face and both of them have huge grins all over their faces. Then there is a picture with his mother who has Lilly propped on her lap opening some birthday presents.

Lucas catches his breath as he spots another picture with a familiar looking brunette holding hands with his sister showing her a beautiful flower in the garden.

And then all of a sudden he realizes why he hasn't come back to Tree Hill all these years.

This was the place where he was ever truly happy...

* * *

Author's note:

Lynn – Wow I don't know what to say to you anymore. Your reviews really left me totally speechless. I didn't even know that you are reading my story so you can imagine how surprised I was. It is quite scary how much you actually can picture my story and the scenes. It is like you are reading my mind. Don't want to praise you anymore here hun…but I love you so much…

P.S. Watch out for a PM from me anytime soon…

Toddntan –  I'm really glad that you are reviewing again. There will be some more drama in the upcoming chapter…

Whitney – I'm relieved that you are getting a feel for the story because up until now I haven't given away that much…every now and then I'm going to bring back some memories of both Brooke and Lucas to give you an insight on what happened the past years. P.S. What you said makes sense :-)

Chey – Yeah I like Whitey too…somehow I feel that he will not be used that much in season 5…so I had to use his character in this story for some important character development + drama….There is definitely much more BL interaction ahead...


	6. No Goodbyes

**Blind Leading The Blind**

Author's note: I know I promised you some more BL interaction and I'm sorry to tell you that there isn't once again one. I know I'm an ass. But as I wrote this chapter the scenes I wanted to incorporate became way too long. So I'm happy to announce to you guys that this is a two part kind of update. The next chapter is already written and I'll gladly put it up here on Saturday/Sunday. Just be patient one more time please….

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill. Sadly the TV-series is belonging to Mark Schwahn

**Chapter 6: No Goodbyes **

_I can see the light behind your eyes  
Even in the summer shade outside  
When every single day  
Will never feel the same  
A single minute can't be wasted_

* * *

**New York, September 2011**

Brooke is standing next to the fridge searching for the juice carton. As every morning she starts the day with the same routine.

6am wake up call. 15 minutes showering. First she turns on the cold water to let the chilly stream wash all over her body and with that away the last trails of sleep.

Before her body starts to shiver uncontrollably she switches on the warm water and enjoys the sensible heat revive her spirits and mind.

Then she wraps herself up in one of the big fluffy towels and dries her hair.

Still just covered with only the towel around her waist Brooke steps into her walk-in closet to find some suitable clothes for the day. This part of her daily routine almost takes up more time than putting on the make up and styling her hair. Brooke knows that as a fashion designer she always has to look stunning and practically as perfect as her own models.

There is no room for a bad hair day or the wrong outfit. The press and the paparazzi will gladly exploit every single one of her slip-ups.

At 7.30am sharp Brooke enters her kitchen all set and ready for the day.

As she pours herself some orange juice into a glass Brooke's eyes wander to the answering machine. She takes a gulp and eyes the telephone suspiciously. It is more than a couple of months ago that she talked to Haley for the last time. After Lilly's birthday party she kind of got trapped in all of the chaos with the launch of the fashion line, the move to the new apartment and her duties as a celebrity. Gradually Brooke forgot to keep in touch with her best friend. On account of this she was taken back to hear Haley's anxious voice last night on the answering machine.

It is unlikely of her to leave such a short message with just some cryptic content that Brooke wonders what is wrong with her. Slowly Brooke picks up the phone and starts to dial the familiar number.

"_Hello?"_

Brooke holds her breath for a second and thinks about hanging up before she unconsciously lets out a noisy sigh.

"Brooke is that you?" Haley asks with a doubtful voice.

"_Hey tutor mum. How are you? I missed you so much. I know I haven't called you in a while but I had to work so hard to launch my own clothing line. Then my mum took over the company being the new C.E.O. and bossing me around 24/7. She even made me move out of my old place to an apartment in a more sophisticated neighborhood…and oh did I mention it that I'm sorry that I haven't called you lately."_ Brooke rambles without even catching her breath for a split second.

"_Hmm, okay…well hi there Brooke. I'm glad that you called"_ Haley responds somewhat baffled and surprised.

"_Well tutor mum. How is my favorite godson Jamie doing? Is he still into soccer or has Nathan finally convinced him to play basketball? And how are you holding up with all of the kids in school being a pain in the ass?"_ Brooke asks with her voice trembling every now and then.

"_Brooke Penelope Davis. You are in so much trouble. Not calling me for more than 6 months! Duh…Do you think you can just forget about all of your friends from Tree Hill now that you are famous missy? And then you also have the audacity to distract me from this fact by rambling on and on?"_ Haley exclaims a bit annoyed.

Brooke swallows hard trying to overcome the evident bitterness in Haley's voice.

"_Haley I'm really sorry. I know that I should have called you a long time ago but I was swamped with work and my mother supervising every step I make. This isn't a good excuse because there really isn't one but I'm telling the truth here."_ Brooke stutters.

"_So work huh…and how come that your mother is bossing you around?"_ Haley asks calming down a little.

"_You know that I told you at Lilly's party that I was trying to launch my own fashion label. Well after my contract with Victoria's Secret expired I was offered a chance to build up my own company. Right about this time my mother miraculously popped up into my life. First I was glad that somebody helped me deal with all of the financial and press aspects of the company but as time went by she kind of took over everything."_ Brooke explains, frustration lingering in her voice.

Haley chuckles a little bit and says _"The Brooke Davis I know does not surrender. Where is the spirit of the head cheerleader gone who could basically kick everyone's ass for interrupting our precious practice?"_

Brooke clears her throat and tries to come up with a sassy comeback. But somehow she fails and just stays silent. Instead she abstractedly just runs her hand through her long brown hair while staring at the ticking wall clock.

"_Well Haley you said that something happened. So tell me what's wrong?"_

Haley is struck by the sudden change of heart of her best friend.

"_Are you okay Tigger?"_ she asks in a concerned tone.

Brooke furrows her brows and responds quickly with her familiar cheerful voice "What happened tutor mum? Are you pregnant again or has Nathan maybe a secret affair with the dirty mistress a.k.a. the nanny?"

"_No. You are stupid Brooke"_ Haley hisses. She catches her breath and then proceeds to talk.

"_Actually…something really bad happened. I know that you liked Whitey a lot but I'm sorry to tell you that he passed away last Tuesday." _

There is a short silence on the phone and Haley can only hear the ticking of a clock in the background.

Then Brooke lets out a soft sigh.

"_Did he suffer Hales?"_ she whispers with a throaty voice.

"_No Brooke. The doctors said that he died peacefully in his sleep without any kind of pain"_ Haley answers tearily.

"_That's good…that's really good"_ Brooke mumbles almost inaudibly as she picks up the glass to take another gulp of the juice.

"_Well…. The funeral is on Saturday 2pm. We thought that maybe you would like to come…" _Haley says quietly.

"_That's really nice of you. Yeah…I'll definitely think about it"_ Brooke replies with a blank expression on her face.

Haley lowers her head gloomily as she senses the sadness evident in Brooke's voice.

"You know we love you and miss you Tigger…" she simply says pushing back the urge to ask Brooke again about her state of mind.

"I love you too…tutor mum" Brooke responds quickly before her voice cracks and she disconnects the call.

She holds her breath as she tries to fight back the tears from swelling in the corner of her eyes. The moment one single teardrop drips down her cheek she breathes out with a silent sigh. Then she slowly puts down the glass on the kitchen table and mechanically wipes away the tear.

* * *

** Tree Hill, September 2011**

Lucas stretches out his legs and yawns noisily. His eyes are still closed and his head is burrowed in the pillow. He did not sleep very well in the tiny bed of his sister. All night he just tossed and turned from one side to the other without really drifting off into sleep. It felt strange being home and in his room again after all these years. But what bothered him even more was the fact that no one else was there too. Apart from him the house was empty and deserted. After he left Tree Hill to attend college at UNC he never really came back home without his mum or Lilly being there. He realizes that actually he never was alone at all. Even when his mother went to Italy for cooking school Keith was here to keep an eye on him.

Now both his mother and little sister are traveling to places all across Europe.

He has not heard or seen them for more than 3 months. His mum called him the day of their departure to check on him and to say goodbye but aside from this he only received some post cards from Vienna, Rome and London.

Lucas yawns again scratching the stubbles on his chin. Finally he decides to open his eyes a little. He squints quickly trying to block out the bright and shiny rays of light illuminating the room. Slowly he gets up from the bed and stumbles forward towards the bathroom covering his eyes with one hand from the glistening light. After he washes his face with the cold water to wipe the sleep out of the corner of his eyes Lucas picks up a cigarette and proceeds to light up. He pauses for a second and thinks to himself what his mother would say if she saw him acting like this. He lets out a loud groan and opens the door. Still a bit shaky on his feet and only covered with some worn out shorts and a plain white t-shirt he sits down on the porch. With the first drag his senses sharpen and he takes a look around.

The neighborhood is still looking like he left it years ago. Mr. Connor as usually is washing his car in the driveway on a Friday morning and the kid from the Taylor family is mowing the lawn. He smiles slightly and feels like he missed all of this so much. Everything is so calm and serene, nothing like his chaotic life back in L.A. .

As Lucas takes the last drag from the cigarette and then stubs it out he decides to go out for a run before breakfast.

--------------------

He runs steadily through the small town and passes by all these familiar buildings that are connected to so many memories from his past. Every now and then somebody recognizes and gives him a friendly wave or nod. He picks up the pace as he approaches the Rivercourt.

From a distance he can spot that somebody is playing basketball on the court. He raises a smile and runs even faster in anticipation to reach his desired destination.

As he gets to the court he breathes heavily and wants to shut off the music he was listening to during his run. But all of a sudden somebody tackles him from the side and he trips and almost falls on the ground.

"_Uncle Luke, Uncle Luke… you are here, you are here"_ a tiny and high pitched voice squeals.

Lucas quickly turns around and sees his godson Jamie launch into his arms. The little boy embraces him in a tight hug and wiggles his feet in pure joy as Lucas picks him up and swings him high into the air.

"Come here little man. I missed you so much." Lucas exclaims, a genuine smile creeping all over his face.

"_Hey douchebag. Don't I get a hug?"_ a male voice says sarcastically.

As Lucas looks over Jamie's shoulder he recognizes the face of his brother. He looks older, much more mature with his quite long brown hair and beard.

Lucas carefully plants Jamie back on the ground and runs his hand through the boy's short hair. Then he nervously approaches Nathan and embraces him in a somewhat awkward hug.

Nathan tenses up a little but proceeds to hug his older brother back.

Jamie is standing besides them and eyeing them both with excitement lingering in his eyes.

"_Daddy…can Uncle Luke play some basketball with us?"_ he asks picking up the ball next to his feet.

Nathan pulls out of the hug a bit too harshly and looks at his son in amusement.

_"Well Jamie…you can ask your Uncle by yourself. I bet he still thinks he is Tree Hill's finest player."_ he answers with a smirk on his face.

Jamie dribbles the ball towards Lucas and puts it into his hands.

"_Uncle Luke will you please play some basketball with us. Daddy always wins. Maybe you can help me." _the little boy says looking at his uncle with a shy expression on his face.

Lucas gives his godson a reassuring pat on the head and replies _"Jamie as far as I can see your daddy doesn't stand a chance against us. It looks like he has put on some weight and is pretty rusty."_

The little boy giggles and takes the ball out of Lucas's hands. He then happily dribbles towards the basket.

"_Look Nate I'm sorry…"_ Lucas tries to say but gets cut off by a quick gesture.

"Let's just play some ball" Nathan grumbles not trying to hide the bitterness in his voice.

--------------

For quite some time the three of them play basketball without any kind of interruptions. It is now way past noon and the sun is really taking a toll on the boys.

As Lucas tries to sink a three pointer the ball hits the rim and bounces off quite far away to the parking lot.

"_I'll get the ball"_ Jamie shouts eagerly running towards the parking lot.

Lucas wipes the sweat off his forehead and slumps down on the ground.

Nathan does the same and sits down across from his brother.

"_Man did I miss this"_ Lucas says staring at the river and the picnic tables.

Nathan looks at his brother in utter disappointment and anger.

"You missed this? What did you miss? Did you miss your godson and Haley for the past years? Did you miss Karen and Lilly last Christmas? Don't give me any of this bullshit Luke" he scoffs.

Lucas does not even try to raise his head to look into the eyes of his brother. He just sighs and then stays silent.

"_Yeah I thought so! Man, we needed you here. When I had the accident Haley was a mess and I almost fucked up my life and my family. I know that Karen always tries to stay strong but she had to struggle a lot with Lilly and the café too. But you lived your high profile celebrity life in L.A. . Now don't dare you to tell me that you missed us."_ Nathan says with a cold and lethargic voice.

Suddenly Jamie comes back with the ball in his hands and a sheepish grin on his face.

"Daddy I'm hungry. Can we and Uncle Luke go home to eat something?" he asks.

Nathan looks up at his son and shoots him a big smile.

"Jamie I'm sorry but your uncle can't come to lunch with us."

Jamie pouts and looks pleadingly at his father.

"Jamie your daddy is right. I got to get home to work a bit. I'm sorry" Lucas mumbles apologetically.

Jamie nods his head slowly and embraces his uncle in a tight hug. Then he takes the hand of his father and walks away, every now and then turning his head around to take a quick look at his uncle.

Lucas watches them leave but quickly averts his gaze.

He looks at the ground of the court and recognizes the familiar writing on it that faded slightly over the past years.

It faded away like all of his friends and family did in the back of his mind.

* * *

**New York, September 2011**

The moment the interviewer from Glamour magazine closes the door to Brooke's office she lets out a noisy sigh.

She quickly picks up the phone and dials the number of her assistant Millicent.

"_Milli would you be so kind to cancel every meeting I got this afternoon? Tell everybody who calls that I'm too busy working on new designs and that I want my privacy."_ Brooke says with a strained and tired voice.

"_Sure Miss Davis. Do you want me to get you anything for lunch?"_ Millicent replies.

"No. I'm fine. But thanks Milli." Brooke whispers.

As she puts down the phone Brooke turns around in her chair and looks out the window.

It is noon and Central Park is crowded with people enjoying the warm summer sun. Some are having a picnic with blankets spread on the green grass and others are just bathing in the sun during their lunch break.

She misses doing things like this. Going out enjoying herself without the fear of getting caught on camera by the paparazzi or without having a fake smile all the time plastered across her face.

She misses being a 21 year old girl having fun and living a carefree life.

"_Where is the spirit of the head cheerleader gone…?"_

Brooke buries her face in her hands trying to hold back the tears as she hears a knock on the door.

She does not flinch or answers because she hopes it is just somebody Milli can get rid of.

"_Brooke? Are you sleeping? You know that the fashion industry does not sleep. Wake up or your enemies will get ahead of you."_ Victoria shouts standing next to the open door.

Brooke does not turn around. She recognizes the voice of her mother and cringes.

"_Mother I'm tired. Can you please leave me alone to have a little privacy?"_ she says almost pleadingly.

"_Brooke you know that you have to attend another movie premiere tomorrow?"_ Victoria responds shrugging her shoulders.

"_Mother I don't want to and I'm not going to"_ Brooke raises her voice suddenly.

"_Brooke you have to think about the company and the clothing line. We need publicity. If you want to be successful you have to sacrifice some things."_ Victoria replies with a calm and pitiless voice.

Brooke turns around in her chair and looks her mother straight into the eyes.

"_Mother I told you that I'm not going to the premiere. In fact I was thinking about taking a break and going on vacation for a while"_ she hisses.

"_Duh…taking a break. Who do you think you are Brooke Penelope Davis? Do you think I worked so hard to let everything go to waste? People won't wait for you to get off your ass! Everybody expects from you to fail miserably. I don't know what I thought when I offered you my help. You are really disappointing me."_ Victoria spits out.

Brooke's bottom lip starts to tremble and her eyes get misty. She props her elbows up on the table and moves her body a bit towards her mother.

"I told you that I'm going to take a break. There is nothing you can do about it. From tomorrow on I'm on vacation. But it is nice to know why you even bothered to come back into my life." Brooke mutters with a raspy voice.

Victoria throws her hands up in the air accepting her defeat.

Before she slams the door shut she pauses for a second and looks at her daughter.

"Fine! Go ahead, screw up your life. But don't come back and expect me to be there to clean up your mess."

Once again Brooke holds her breath as she tries to fight back the tears from swelling in the corner of her eyes.

But this time not even a single teardrop drips down her face.

* * *

Author's note:

Lynn – Once again thank you so very much for your lengthy review. You inspire me to write this story and to step up my game. I hope I answered some of your questions with this chapter. However your answers are never annoying but really interesting and help me a lot. Watch out for some reviews for your story. Love you hun….

B.P. Davis – I know I suck for no BL interaction again. Don't give up on me yet. I wouldn't want you to miss out on the upcoming chapters with much BL.

Chey – I'm glad you liked the last line..nailing something like this is always difficult. By the way your stories are awesome. Have to start reviewing.

Whitney – Sometimes Lucas needs to really hit rock bottom to realize what makes him happy. I'm happy that you like this kind of development and like my story (even without BL scenes).

Todd – Wow your review was just awesome. I like it that I have the ability to surprise you and that you are eager to find out more about the past. Well all of them have grown up and both Lucas and Brooke have a job. This definitely is an important part of their life and so I have to write about it. There will be definitely more Brooke/Lilly scenes along the way.


	7. Come Back

**Blind Leading The Blind**

Author's note: First of all…I'm so proud of myself for finally keeping my promise and updating on time. How cool is this? And you even get the long awaited BL interaction 

This chapter was pretty hard to write because I'm not sure if I did any justice to our beloved couple…Hope you like it and enjoy the chapter. I won't update for some time because college is starting soon + I'm going on vacation…

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill. Sadly the TV-series is belonging to Mark Schwahn.The song in this chapter is Come Back by Pearl Jam…fantastic tune.

**Chapter 7: Come Back**

* * *

**Tree Hill, September 2011**

It is quite early in the morning when Brooke exits the airport through the main entrance. Equipped with her big black Chanel sunglasses and dressed in a knee length cream colored silk skirt with a pearly white blouse she perfectly blends in with the surrounding crowd.

The businessmen in their expensive and fancy suits are all busy making important phone calls or reading the latest headlines in the newspapers. Everybody kind of rushes in and out of the building in a hurry without even looking around themselves.

Brooke is pleased when she enters a cab and sits down in the backseat. For the first time in the past 24 hours she has time to catch a breath and relax. Everything got really hectic and messy yesterday when she decided to fly out to Tree Hill for Whitey's funeral. She spent the whole afternoon with her couturier to instruct him on the dresses she wants to be tailored in her absence. Then every once in a while Milli interrupted their meeting to discuss the schedule for the upcoming couple of days. After she left the office Brooke met up for dinner with Rachel to give her a last briefing on the progress of the collection.

The redhead was curious to discover that her best friend was going on vacation and as Brooke revealed to her that the place would be Tree Hill Rachel was speechless.

For the past years Brooke never talked about their life in Tree Hill or the time in highschool.

It seemed to her that the brunette locked away all of the memories from the past except for the day she came back from L.A. and saw a certain Lucas Scott at a movie premiere.

Since then Brooke went on with her life as usually and carried on chasing her dream and launching her own label. It is like somehow the two of them came to this silent agreement never to talk or mention anything related to Tree Hill ever again. Sure Rachel knew that she kept in touch with Haley but that didn't bother her because Jamie was her godson.

However Brooke wanting to go on a vacation and spending time in Tree Hill really surprised Rachel. She was sad to hear about Whitey passing away and was fully aware of the hurt in Brooke's eyes. Whitey was something like a substitute father for Brooke and besides Karen the only adult she looked up to. But yet something was definitely wrong with her friend. Brooke refused to let Rachel come with her to Tree Hill and brushed off any of her attempts to discuss this subject.

"_Miss? Where do you want me to drive you to?"_ the kind voice of the cab driver interrupted Brooke's trail of thoughts.

Slowly she takes off her sunglasses and smiles politely.

_"To the Doubletree Hotel in Tree Hill please."_

"_**If I keep holding out  
Will the light shine through?  
Under this broken roof  
It's only rain that I feel  
I've been wishin' out the days  
Oh oh oh  
Come back"**_

* * *

He takes another look at his watch and can't believe that he is going to be late. The funeral is scheduled for 2pm and he hasn't even put on his suit yet. He is still standing in front of the bathroom mirror trying to shave without cutting himself. 

"_Damn it!"_ he exclaims with a raging voice as the blade slices into his skin right under his chin. Slowly the red liquid tickles down his neck leaving a stain on his white wife beater.

Rabidly he throws the shaver into the sink and grabs a towel to wipe away the mess he made.

As he runs his hands nervously through his wet hair he raises his eyes and stares at his reflection in the mirror.

The last two days Lucas never even thought about the event that brought him back to Tree Hill. Walking around the town and catching up with the people from the neighborhood somehow gave him the impression that nothing ever changed at all these years. Everybody still talked about the Ravens win of the State Championship back then and their high expectations for the upcoming playoffs. Yet as he walked by the school last night, normally a game night, the gymnasium was dark, empty and closed off. The game against Oak Lake was pushed back for a week due to Whitey's death and therefore the place wasn't filled with the usual laughter, tension and shouts of the fans. Lucas sat there this night on a bench next to the entrance and recalled all of the memories from the past.

Somehow it all started with Keith and Whitey.

If Keith never told Whitey about his nephew's astonishing basketball skills he would have never got the chance to join the team. With this little push towards his dream Lucas got to know a world he never imagined to be a part of. Playing basketball in front of the whole town and the school every Friday night did not just satisfy his passion and fuel the love for the game. It in fact shaped him up to be the man he is today. Every single one of Whitey's speeches taught him valuable qualities and lessons for life. The old man always knew how to bring out the best in him and give him advice on the things that mattered.

Without his persistence Lucas would have never got to know his brother properly and develop a bond that goes way beyond rivalry or friendship.

Nate got to be a part of his life and even his family, something that Lucas never considered possible.

…and apart from a certain cheerleader he met after his first game played for the Ravens Whitey gave him the strength to survive the darkest moment of his life.

After Keith's death no one could really relate to the sorrow and anger capturing his soul and mind. There wasn't a song or line in a book that could mend the hole in his heart and make the pain go away. Everything got meaningless and irrelevant.

Yet some simple words Whitey told him one night pulled him to safety.

"_You want some answers. But what is the right answer? Because there is no answer! There is just life. Just life."_

Lucas buttons up his white shirt and plugs it into his pants. He looks at the wall clock and can't quite shake off the haunting thoughts from last night.

Now Whitey is dead too and he feels like he lost Keith all over again.

It is the same pain, the same heartache and the same numb feeling in his guts.

But this time he knows that no one is going to be there for him.

His mom is still in Europe for more than 2 weeks, he doesn't know where Brooke is living and Nathan made it perfectly clear that his presence is not wanted anymore in Tree Hill.

Yet somehow he can understand his brother's reaction to his absence and sudden reappearance.

The years they spend in college both of them worked really hard to stay in touch and meet up every couple of weeks despite Lucas's school work or Nate's numerous road trips with the team. Every single one of their encounters was always a chance for them to catch a breath and enjoy some quality time together. It didn't matter if it was just him and Nate babysitting little Jamie or having a one on one game at a local court. The little time they had together was special and a welcome escape from the trouble and pressure of their everyday lives.

But the moment Lucas moved to Los Angeles to live with Peyton everything changed.

At the beginning he needed some time to accommodate to his new living arrangements and surroundings. However one phone call a day gradually turned to one call a week and then a month. Ultimately he stopped calling Nate after he visited him in the hospital. The sight of his brother tied to a wheelchair broke his heart and left him feeling helpless.

Nathan's dream of going pro shattered the very moment his first book got published.

As Lucas fails to put on his tie once again he harshly throws it on the ground. Then he lights up another cigarette and takes a deep drag. His gaze fixed on his watch he lets out a noisy sigh and wrinkles his nose. Quickly he picks up his jacket that is lying on the bed and swings it over his shoulder.

"_**I have been planning out  
All that I'd say to you  
Since you slipped away  
Know that I still remain true  
I've been wishin' out the days  
Please say that if you hadn't have gone now  
I wouldn't have lost you another way  
From wherever you are  
Oh oh oh oh  
Come back"**_

* * *

With the first step through the gate of the cemetery Lucas's throat gets dry and his tongue sticky. The all so familiar feeling of numbness washes over him and sends chills down his spine. He squints and scratches the back of his head mechanically. Slowly he walks towards the mourners his hands buried deep in his pockets. His palms are all sweaty as he gets closer to the funeral service. The minister has already started with his speech and reflects on Whitey's accomplishments and significance for the community. 

Lucas doesn't want to attract any attention and decides to stay behind leaning on to an old oak tree. The sunshine soaks the mourners into a delicate light and with the surrounding flower arrangements creates an atmosphere of peace and eternal tranquility.

From the teachers to the students and former players of the team everybody is gathered around the grave to pay homage to the old man.

Nathan, Haley and Jamie are all standing in the front row next to the minister hands intertwined and eyes transfixed on the grave. Oddly there is also another brunette woman standing besides Jamie her left arm swung around his shoulders. She has hair arranged in shoulder long curls with a black headband. Instantly a familiar weird feeling gets a hold of him again and makes his body grow stiff. He squints for a split second and sees the woman pick up a white rose and place it carefully on the mahogany coffin. She pauses for a short moment and lowers her head. Then she quickly turns around and proceeds to walk into his direction. He can't believe what his eyes are seeing. He actually has to close them for a second to withstand the cold shiver rushing through his body.

She is here and just a couple of feet away from him. He wants to say something or give her any kind of motion to express to her that he acknowledged her presence but he simply can't. Only the ability to look at her with his piercing blue eyes remains intact. As she looks into his eyes with a somewhat sad and confused yet comforting expression a long lost warmth occupies his heart and soul. His body releases its previous state of tension and a small half-smile creeps over his face. Without taking her eyes off of him the brunette woman gets close to him and stops over by his side. He does not dare to look at her and instead holds his breath. Gently she rests her hand on his shoulder so that he can feel her hot breath against his bare neck. He closes his eyes and sucks in her sweet and endearing scent.

She smells like lavender, honey and cinnamon.

The moment he opens his eyes again she is gone. Nathan, Haley and Jamie are all approaching him still with their hands intertwined. As Jamie sees his uncle standing next to the oak tree he launches himself into his arms and embraces him in a tight hug. He hugs the little boy back and rests his head for a moment on his shoulder.

_"Uncle Luke are you coming with us to the school for Whitey's party?"_ the boy asks with a cheerful voice.

Luke smiles and nods his head in agreement.

Jamie grins and points out to the woman waiting next to their car.

_"Even Auntie Brooke is here."_ he explains.

Luke stares at Nathan who just passes by without even looking at his brother.

He furrows his brows and lowers his head as Haley approaches him and embraces him silently in a tight hug.

She gives him a small peck on the cheek and then walks to her waiting husband and son.

Lucas lets out a soft sigh and slowly shakes his head.

As he hears the sound of the starting car engine Lucas walks up to Whitey's grave and sits down in front of it.

"_**If I don't fall apart  
Will my memory stay clear?  
So you had to go  
And I had to remain here  
But the strangest thing to date  
So far away and yet you feel so close  
I'm not going to question it any other way  
It must be an open door for you  
To come back"**_

* * *

The sun has already set as he pulls over into the school's parking lot and enters the gymnasium where the reception is already in full swing. The basketball court is staffed with large tables and multiple chairs. The decoration with one bouquet of white roses on each table and several tea lights is simple but nevertheless classy. In the background on a little stage the school band plays some serene and slow tunes. 

Almost all people from the funeral service came over to the gymnasium for the dinner in Whitey's honor and are now chatting quietly.

On the right side next to the bleachers Haley and Nathan are sitting at a table having dinner.

Lucas scans the crowd in search of a familiar brunette as he spots her holding Jamie by his hands dancing to the music. The way she sways her hips to the melody of the song while holding the little boy tight in her grip mesmerizes him. It is the first time that he sees Brooke with Jamie but the sight doesn't seem to be odd or strange at all. In fact it looks so natural that he imagines what a great mother she will be. Somehow it reminds him so much of the way his own mother acts when Lilly is around.

As the song comes to an end Jamie walks back to his mother and sits down in her lap leaving Brooke behind alone on the dancefloor.

Lucas approaches her and clears his throat. Brooke flinches and turns around looking at him with a puzzled expression on her face.

"_I bet the little boy is a better dancer than me, right?"_ he says the tension evident in his voice.

Brooke offers him a small smile and motions over to the bleachers. Both of them walk over there silently and take a seat.

"_So you are back in Tree Hill?"_ Lucas tries to start the conversation stuttering a bit.

"_Yeah…kind of…sort of for the weekend"_ Brooke replies staring at the ground avoiding the urge to look into Lucas's eyes.

Lucas every other second steals a quick glance at Brooke but averts his gaze every time she even barely moves.

"_Well I'm only here for the weekend too. Got so much work to do for my new book"_ Lucas answers with a quiet voice…

However on the inside he cringes because of the stupidity of his words. What would he have to do all day besides getting drunk and watching reruns of classic basketball games on ESPN?

"_I totally understand what you mean. I'm cramped with work launching my own fashion label."_ Brooke responds raising her head a little bit to sneak a peek at Lucas.

He genuinely smiles and looks at her with an amused expression on his face.

"_So that Clothes Over Bros thing worked out for you, huh?"_ he asks a bit insecure.

She feels his look on her face and quickly lowers her head again.

"_Well I practically had to be a slave for Victoria's Secret the past years but now everything seems to add up finally."_ she mumbles the pride evident in her voice.

His eyes brighten up and his pulse frantically increases. The moment she looks away his eyes automatically take a quick glance at her.

"_Remember how I told you at the party after graduation that you would conquer the world. Seems to me that I was quite right with my prediction"_ he says his voice cracking a bit.

Brooke coughs abruptly and swallows hard. Then she silently nods her head in agreement.

"Look at Jamie. Isn't he the cutest kid in the world?" she quickly changes the subject.

Jamie is still sitting in Haley's lap but now asleep resting his head on her shoulder.

"_I love the little guy so much. It's sad that I haven't seen him the last two years and missed out on so much important events in his life. When I look at him and at Nathan and Haley life makes sense. It is just the way it should be."_ Lucas rambles staring at Jamie with a huge smile on his face.

Brooke raises her head and looks straight at Lucas. As he talks about Jamie she can't lose sight of his eyes full of love and joy.

As Lucas notices that Brooke hasn't said anything in a while he quickly leans over to her and suddenly their eyes lock.

He absent mindedly holds his breath and loses track of time. Her hazel eyes with the green highlights are so bright and suave that he is at a loss of words.

"_Anyway…where is Peyton? Is she still in L.A.?_"Brooke snaps out of it and averts her gaze again.

Lucas frowns, his eyes still transfixed on her and answers trying not to hide the frustration in his voice.

"_I don't know where she is. We broke up some time ago"_

Brooke lets out a soft sigh and starts to play with the ring on her finger.

_"Brooke. I think we should really talk. I made a…"_ Lucas tries to carry on the conversation but gets cut off.

All of a sudden Brooke gently plants her index finger on his lips to silence him.

_"Don't. Please…just don't Luke!"_ she whispers softly with a raspy voice.

Lucas shivers and melts away feeling her touch on his skin. He wants to object and say something but simply can't.

Brooke steals one last glance at his face and then walks away.

"_**And the days they linger on, yeah  
Every night I'm waiting for  
The real possibility that I may need to end my pain  
Sometimes you're there and you're talking back to me  
Come the morning I could swear you're next to me  
And it's ok"**_

* * *

Author's note:

Chelsea – No problem. Although I really missed your review. I'm glad that you are liking the direction of this story because it isn't really fast paced and lacks some contrived drama like on the show…I like to take things slow 

B.P. Davis – Now you got BL…and I hope you enjoyed it

Whitney – If you are a spoiled fan of the show and have seen Nathan's look in the season 5 promo a beard is something you should approve of …he looked like a hobo in the promo so a little beard can't hurt that much. But I love Nathan…he has to kick Luke in the ass from time to time…and Peyton will definitely show up later on…

Othfan326 – Thank you for your compliments…I like your stories too..started reading some of them…

Chey – You haven't updated because you had no electricity…crazy girl…where are you living at?? 

Lynn – Last but never the least…I know that you have been too busy working on your fics to review but it doesn't matter because I love your new chapters very much…so good work. I'm updating again just three days after my last update..so not much time to review anyway…Love you so much hun…


	8. Are You Lightning?

**Blind Leading The Blind**

Author's note: Hey guys. I'm back from my vacation and settled in pretty well with the start of law school. Hope you all enjoyed the first episodes of season 5, especially the fantastic BL scenes. I'm undecided if I like the new season because Mark is still writing so cheesy and contrived LP scenes but great BL moments. He should for once open his eyes and recognize how much chemistry BL have….

Anyway… hope you like the new update although I'm not that happy with it…still not feeling my writing of the female characters….Lynn baby, where are you??…need your help here 

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill. Sadly the TV-series is belonging to Mark Schwahn. The song used in this chapter is written and performed by Nada Surf.

**Chapter 8: Are you lightning?**

**  
**

* * *

**Tree Hill, September 2011**

For a while he sits there quietly on the bleachers and lets every emotion sink in.

Her scent still lingers on in the air and clouds his mind. He steals a quick glance around himself before he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. Meeting her again today definitely did not turn out the way he imagined it would. As he saw her for the first time at the cemetery he was surprised to say the least. She did not look like she was mad at him or even bitter at all. She just walked towards him the sadness and sorrow about Whitey's death evident in her eyes. The moment she offered him this comforting look he felt like she could relate to his pain. Like she knew that this was maybe the only thing in the world that could ease his pain for a second. He was grateful for this tiny gesture yet once again speechless when it was his turn to show her some kind of his own emotions.

Lucas opens his eyes and stares intensely at the empty spot right next to him. He can't quite shake off the familiar feeling of defeat and frustration causing sharp stings to his heart. Once again he let her walk away….and he can't for gods sake believe it. She sat there right next to him and he behaved like a complete idiot. Talking like he was some busy and important celebrity. He shakes his head slowly in disbelief and sighs. Somehow he can't erase the expression on Brooke's face from his mind when he told her about his breakup with Peyton. She seemed to be pretty sad and surprised about it and refused to even look at him this moment. Nevertheless he noticed how hurt by his revelation she really was.

And this is something that bothers him a lot. He anticipated her to be sad and surprised… but not hurt. The thing that tops all of this is the fact that he even tried to open up to her and to explain but she cut him off immediately. Somehow he never gets it right.

He furrows his brows and looks at the people still eating dinner or chatting quietly.

Brooke is sitting at the table holding a sleeping Jamie carefully in her lap while Nathan and Haley are dancing to the jazzy tune playing in the background.

He watches all of them for another moment or two before he gets up and proceeds to leave.

As he walks towards the exit of the gymnasium Lucas decides to make a detour and visit Whitey's office for old time's sake.

He approaches the office remembering the numerous times he was called in there to listen to the lectures of the old man about the importance of discipline and hard work or just his weekly fit of rage regarding his and Nate's childish rivalry.

A sad smile creeps over Lucas's face as he reaches for the doorknob and enters the room.

Not to his surprise the office still looks exactly the same like the last time he faced his coach here. The huge wooden desk is scattered with paper sheets, playbooks and game tapes. Whitey's mug is placed right next to his phone and the frame with a picture of his beloved wife Camilla. Lucas stands still for a second in the doorway feeling a bit nervous about entering the office. He never dared to come in here all alone and it seems to him now that he is somehow intruding. However one of the several memorabilia hanging on the wall catches his attention so he steps into the room to take a closer look. It is a picture of the team and the cheerleaders after their win of the state championship. Everybody is gathered around Whitey who is holding the trophy with a tight grip and an expression of utter satisfaction and pride on his face. Right next to him Nathan and Haley are kissing each other and Skills carrying Bevin on his shoulders. Lucas swallows hard when he spots himself holding Peyton in a tight embrace. She is all snuggled up against him resting her head in the crook of his neck. A bit distant from the whole group a familiar brunette cheerleader has her arms wrapped around herself staring at the happy crowd with a hurtful look on her face.

Lucas takes a step back and rubs his temples with his fingers. He can't really remember the moment that this picture was taken but it doesn't surprise him much. After he hit the buzzer beater for the win of the title everything kind of immerged into one big blur.

He only remembers embracing Brooke in a hug right after the final whistle and her letting him go to Peyton. Staring at this picture now sends shivers of guilt and pain down his spine.

This day he never really cared about Brooke or even tried to figure out how she felt.

He didn't question her decision about letting him go or even object.

Lucas clenches his fists and quickly averts his gaze. He squints and reaches out for Whitey's mug. He wants to take a sip from it but notices that it is empty. He scratches his head in frustration and with one single move leans over the desk and opens the bottom drawer where Whitey always hid his stash of whiskey.

As he gets a grip on the bottle and takes the first gulp all of his pent up tension and frustration unravels. The hot and sticky liquid runs down his throat effortlessly and establishes a warm and welcome feeling in his chest.

Slow and steady all of his thoughts and emotions drift out of his mind and the feeling of numbness washes over his body.

Lucas takes another gulp longing for the intoxicating liquid before he closes the door and leaves the gymnasium with the bottle in his hand.

"_**And so we meet and there are sparks,  
Its gold it's new and free from sharks,  
Your house is big it seems so clean,  
Your cleaning lady comes and we're discreet."**_

* * *

The moment he steps out into the night Lucas stumbles forward, hit by the chilly breeze of the wind. Summer is coming to an end but the dark clouds and muggy air signalize that one last storm is about to roll in. Without any hurry Lucas walks towards the parking lot not caring about the first raindrops soaking his clothes or the clap of thunder clearly audible in the distance. As he is standing next to his car searching for the keys in his pocket Lucas can hear somebody shouting his name.

"_Lucas"_

He turns around surprised by the mention of his name and looks at the entrance of the gymnasium. There she is standing in the drizzling rain trying to cover her body with a coat held upon her head.

_"What?"_ he shouts back with a bit too much aggression lingering in his voice.

_"Haley wants you to come over for dinner tomorrow because it is my last day in Tree Hill and she wants us all to hang out together!"_ Brooke answers nervously fidgeting with the coat.

Lucas quickly buries the hip flask in his pocket and takes a few steps forward to Brooke's direction. Absentmindedly he runs his hand through his hair.

"_Well Brooke, can you please tell Haley that I'm thankful for her invitation but I don't feel like I belong there with you guys."_ he slurs a bit trying to restrain himself.

"_Wait Lucas! What's up with you?"_ Brooke asks with a somewhat puzzled expression on her face.

He runs his hand through his hair and wipes some water off his forehead. Now all of his clothes are soaked by the rain and stick tight to his body. Through the white drenched dress shirt his toned body is clearly visible what kind of irritates Brooke a bit. For a second she eyes him from head to toe and notices it that he is scrawnier and more muscular than the last time she saw him like this.

"_Nothing is going on with me. I'm okay."_ Lucas responds sarcastically having a smirk on his face.

Brooke is slightly taken back by the irony evident in his voice and takes a few steps forward.

This doesn't seem to be the Lucas she knows from the past. This man in front her isn't the always caring and kind person she met in highschool and became quickly friends with.

Quite the contrary he doesn't seem to be really happy or content these days.

Brooke saw this look of anger, sadness and loneliness on his face back then in Los Angeles and having to deal with it now again scares her a lot.

"_Are you sure Luke? Maybe you should just come in with me again?"_ she exclaims insecurely holding her hand out to him as a gesture to confirm her offer.

All of a sudden a flash of lightning lights up the sky and illuminates the brunette for a second. Lucas steals a quick glance at her face and shivers when he sees her considerate and scared expression. It pains him that maybe he could scare her and it adds up to his already haunting feeling of guilt and resentment towards himself.

He just lowers his head and shrugs.

"_No thank you. I'm fine pretty girl. Don't worry"_ he responds quietly. But the moment these words rolled off his tongue and slipped out of his mouth and his brain had enough time to process what he just said his whole body tenses up. Quickly he walks back to his car and opens the door.

Brooke just stands there visibly stunned by his last words and bites her bottom lip.

"_Okay"_ Brooke mumbles to herself when Lucas starts the engine.

As another clap of thunder breaks the silence she turns around on her heels and walks away.

Lucas watches her enter the gymnasium and the moment the door closes behind her he slams his fist repeatedly into the dashboard.

"_Damn it. What the fuck is wrong with me?"_

"_**And so I act like I'm 21,  
Wide eyed and drifting unto sun,  
Pay back is here my legs are numb,  
I'm back, it's square one feeling dumb."**_

* * *

Brooke enters the hotel room a little bit past midnight holding her stilettos in her hands to not cause any noise. The storm is in full swing now and flashes of lightning brighten up the room every now and then momentarily. Rubbing her neck she throws her coat over the coat rack and tiptoes over to the living room. Without paying attention to her dress getting even more wrinkled Brooke slumps down on the black leather couch. Now that she is resting properly for the first time in over 24 hours the feeling of exhaustion kicks in and gets a hold of her body. Brooke yawns a bit and stretches her legs lazily.

Having to brief her employees on their tasks for the weekend and meeting with Rachel on the side to get updates on their progress with the collection while planning her trip really took a toll on her. Nevertheless Brooke is surprised how she managed it to block out any thoughts about her company or work for the past couple of hours.

Seeing Nathan and Haley again after quite some time made her happy and it quickly felt like she never used to be away for so long. Sure at first they were a little bit distant and bugged her with some playful remarks but Brooke was never shy to get back at them with one of her witty comebacks. And then there was also her adorable godson Jamie who never failed to put a smile on her face. Since last Christmas Brooke had not seen the little boy and was astonished that he was so grown up now. Spending time with Jamie doing simple things like reading a bedtime story together or just watching him play basketball made Brooke pause and actually enjoy her life for once.

As Brooke is fighting hard to keep her eyes open she grabs the remote and switches on the TV. However every channel she puts on just displays some white noise. Annoyed by the breakdown of the cable program she groans and tosses the remote onto the glass table.

Another flash of lightning indicates that the storm is far from over and startles Brooke a bit.

She buries her head in the soft cushion trying to muffle the sounds of the clap of thunder and the pounding raindrops. It isn't like she is really scared by the force of the storm or the darkness of the night but she dreads the silence. In New York nights like these almost never happen. Weekdays she is always the last person leaving the office because she often has her moments of inspiration late at night. On the weekends she is busy attending social events or going out with Rachel for drinks. But now Brooke can't distract herself because she neither has a sketchpad here nor is a certain redhead sitting next to her babbling about some hot guys.

Therefore Brooke decides to do the next best thing and grabs her purse to call Rachel.

"_Hey Brookie!"_ the redhead shrieks into the phone.

Brooke grins and feels immediately relieved when she hears the familiar voice of her friend.

"_Hey slut! How are you?"_ Brooke responds the excitement evident in her voice.

"_I'm pretty good fatty. But not really slutting around much."_ Rachel giggles.

"_What? You are not taking your chances and seducing any eligible bachelors while I'm not around?"_ Brooke remarks playfully.

"_No missy. Don't get me started on this. You are all out on your own in Tree Hill. I'm stuck here with the responsibility for your precious company."_ Rachel exclaims snidely.

"_Come on Rach, it can't be that bad? I bet Victoria is "helping" you a lot like she always does. Plus, I'm not here for the fun of it, remember?"_ Brooke answers sarcastically.

Rachel stays silent for a split second and clears her throat.

"_Victoria wasn't here all weekend… but that isn't really important. How did the funeral go?"_ she says quietly.

Brooke fidgets with the hem of her dress and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.

"_Well it was pretty low-key. Sure there were all of the people from the school and many former basketball players but everything was really peaceful and serene. And the reception at the gymnasium was just beautiful. We really missed you there."_ she responds gently with a raspy voice.

"_That's good…that's really good. Any chance that Mouth was maybe there?_ the redhead rambles on.

Brooke chuckles lightly and kinks her eyebrow.

"_No honey. He wasn't there. Nate told me that he had to do the coverage for the UNC game tonight."_ Brooke says trying to stifle her laughter.

"_Oh okay just mock me you slut. But was possibly your sissy virgin boy there?"_ Rachel retaliates quizzically.

Brooke shifts from one side of the couch to the other and swallows hard.

For the last hour or two she successfully avoided to think about the blonde boy with the piercing blue eyes. But now Rachel's innocent remark makes her heart twitch frantically.

Brooke slowly rises up and starts to walk towards the bathroom.

As she gets to it and her bare feet touch the cold white marmoreal tiles she flinches. To not become unbalanced she props up one arm on the sink.

"_Brooke. Are you still there?"_ Rachel asks solicitously.

"_Yeah…I'm still with you"_ the brunette whispers almost inaudible.

"_So he was there, am I right?"_ Rachel repeats her questions with a soft voice.

Brooke withstands the chilly shivers rushing through her entire body and sits down on the cold floor. After a second or two she gets used to the unpleasant feeling and numbs herself to it.

"_Yeah Rach…he was kind of there."_ she mumbles quietly.

_"Kind of?"_ Rachel repeats the surprise evident in her voice.

A lump forms in Brooke's throat and she heavily breathes in and out to regain her composure.

"_He changed so much. He ain't the Lucas I know from our highschool days. You know how I told you that he looked confused and restless when I saw him in L.A. Now he seems to be in an even worse state of mind. His eyes were so dark and lifeless….and he really scared me when I tried to talk to him. Not scared me like I was afraid of him doing any harm to me but scared because he seemed so desperate and angry."_ Brooke finally opens up feeling very agitated.

Rachel clears her throat noisily and then stays silent for some time.

"_But he didn't do anything to you, right?"_ she asks amazed by her friend's sudden outburst.

"_No… not at all. Quite contrary he even tried to explain himself to me. But I cut him off immediately."_ Brooke says wearily.

"_Why Brooke?"_ the redhead interrupts her.

"_I honestly don't know. Do you remember how I felt the night when I moved out of mine and Peyton's apartment to New York? These weird feelings washed all over me again and I couldn't take it listening to him."_ Brooke stutters, her bottom lip trembling.

"_Yeah I remember it very well. I'm still glad you called me that night."_ Rachel speaks under her breath tearily.

Brooke nods silently in agreement and lowers her head.

"_Me too. Thanks for everything Rach."_ she responds before losing her voice.

"_Anytime Brooke!" the redhead mumbles reassuringly._

---------

Brooke disconnects the call and puts down the cell phone next to the sink. Slowly she gets up and switches on the warm water. It steadily fills up the bathtub while the petite brunette peels off the straps of her black dress. With one quick motion the silky fabric slips down her cream colored body and leaves her standing in front of the tub in nothing more than her lingerie. Brooke turns off the tap and mechanically gets rid of her remaining clothes. The moment she dips her feet into the hot water a rush of warmth spreads all over her body and revitalizes her senses. Brooke dives into the water gracefully and rests her head against the edge of the tub. For some time she silently listens to the pounding raindrops and the clap of thunder. Dozily she closes her eyes and enjoys the warm water gently caressing her body.

"_I'm fine pretty girl. Don't worry"_

Suddenly the words of a certain blonde boy creep into her mind and trigger a memory from a similar night like this years ago.

"_**The only thing I'm scared of is the secret that you keep,  
I know where you are, I dunno where you are.  
Don't make the other wonder the others might sting,  
Tell me what you're thinkin, do not let me twist.  
Just look at the size of you."**_

* * *

**Los Angeles, March 2009**

She enters the apartment with her spare key and is surprised to see that the lights are already turned out and only the moonlight shines through the curtains.It is a bit past 10 pm but not a sound besides the rumbling of the air condition breaks the silence occasionally.

Brooke is pretty relieved about this and lets out an inaudible sigh. She doesn't want to attract any attention and only is back here to retrieve her sketchpad she forgot to pack in this morning. Slowly the brunette feels her way along the walls towards the living room. Her eyes are not yet accustomed to the darkness and she is trying hard not to knock off any things. As she approaches the living room her gaze drifts off to the big suitcases lying on the floor next to the couch.

Brooke jerks to a stop and wants to say something but chokes it down. She moves forward to the coffee table and sifts through the several magazines scattered all over it. As she finally finds her sketchpad Brooke quickly picks it up and tiptoes back to the entrance. On her way out she sneaks a peek into the bedroom and sees her friend with the blonde locks curled up to a man breathing in slow and even waves. Her whole body tenses up at once and her heart skips a beat. For a moment her eyes are magically glued to the sleeping figures but she hastily snaps out of it. Desperately Brooke tries to breathe in and out but only lets out some stifled dry heaves. The thoughts in her head start spinning madly and she bumps accidentally into the coat rack. Startled by the sound she quickly walks out of the apartment and closes the door behind her.

For a second she pauses and eavesdrops. As she doesn't hear any sound Brooke slowly walks down the stairway. The moment she reaches the last step the tears start to form in the corner of her eyes and she slumps down on the ground.

"_**I see you in my sheets, I see you in my sleep,  
I see you with something funny I hear you I almost weep,  
I see you from my steps you're walking up my street,  
But just look at the size of you."**_

* * *

**Author's note:**

B.P. Davis – No…Brooke is definitely not engaged or married at all.

Othfan326 – Lucas and smoking somehow fits I think…but later on somebody will notice it for sure. Thanks for your review and I'm glad you like the story. More BL to come.

Dancefever0234 – Thanks for your appreciative words. I'm working hard to entertain you guys.

Whitney – Yeah BL will definitely act a bit awkward for some time. Hope this chapter gives you a little hint why. Luke needs help but also has to deal with his problems on his own. Peyton will definitely be back…but not for a while.

Chey – Hope you survived the storm and power is back. Brooke has issues and Lucas too…so they really need time to sort things out. You know time heals all wounds….

P.S. Like your fics…sorry for not reviewing until now 

Lynn – Baby….can't tell you enough how much you inspire and help me. To be honest I kind of had a tough time writing this chapter…but your kind words reading your last update made my lazy ass get up and write. Thanks again hun…you are the best and I'm glad to know you. Love you very much my beautiful brunette…


	9. Inside It All Feels The Same

**Blind Leading The Blind**

Author's note: Hey there boys and girls. First of all…I have the biggest respect for every BL fanfic writer who managed to come up with stories during season 4. After watching 5.06 and the horrible promo for the next episode I can feel your pain. I honestly had such a hard time writing this update because the upcoming LP reunion depressed me so much…

Anyways hope you enjoy this pretty lengthy update…it is a bit cramped but I had to squeeze everything in it before my internship starts next week…after this update I won't have much time to write and pray that you'll forgive when reading this…enjoy

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill. Sadly the TV-series is belonging to Mark Schwahn. The song used in this chapter is written and performed by Explosions In the Sky. It is not a coincidence that I'm using one of their songs right now because this is my little nod to a brilliant TV-series called "Friday Night Lights". Hope it gets renewed for a third season…

**Chapter 9: Inside It All Feels The Same **

* * *

**Tree Hill, October 2011**

After he left the reception Lucas wasn't really keen on going home to the empty house and the cold sheets of his bed. But this didn't matter that much to him because he wasn't feeling like he would be able to sleep at all. It was one of these nights again. A night where the old memories crept into his mind and forced him to look back at the past.

If this would have been a typical L.A. day he would have stayed in bed till noon watching ESPN reruns and yelling at the TV screen because his beloved Bobcats got there asses handed to them again. His breakfast would have consisted of leftovers and a couple of beers to maintain a certain level of drunkenness. Maybe he would have gotten up at times to smoke a cigarette or to lie lazily in the sun staring at the clear blue sky. In the afternoon he would have gone out for a long run at the beach or for a drive all the way down to Santa Monica. After some time out in town and a random hookup Lucas would have never had enough time to torture himself with these old memories.

But now he isn't in L.A. and for the past couple of hours he unsuccessfully tried to block out the haunting thoughts. Lucas drove to the Rivercourt after the reception because it was the only place left in Tree Hill where he at least felt a bit like he belonged. His mother's café was closed for the obvious reason of her lengthy trip to Europe with Lilly. Going to Nathan and Haley's house was not an option because his brother was still not even laying his eyes on him. And the chance to run into a certain brunette girl there was enough for him to not even seriously consider this idea. Seeing her tonight again after their brief encounter would not help him at all. After all she was the main reason for his devastating mood and looking into her hazel eyes filled with immense fear would definitely crush him tonight and be the last push over the edge to a place called insanity.

Lucas sat there in his car overlooking the court and the nearby river for quite some time. He was not really sure why it calmed him down that much but listening to the raindrops hammering on the windshield mixed with the occasional clap of thunder somehow released his pent up tension. His eyes were closed and his breathing slowed down after a while. The moment his whole body kind of lost the feeling of exertion and discomfort the pain of his bruised knuckles kicked in. Lucas groaned noisily and opened his eyes for a split second to take a look at his right fist. Over the past hour it changed its color to a dark blue mashed with small black spots. He didn't really care about the stinging pain and the decreasing sensation of his hand. However every time he moved it a bit and this numb feeling washed over him it reminded Lucas of Brooke and a deep down buried memory related to her.

He slowly reached for the hip flask placed in the pocket of his jacket and took a sip. The sticky liquid ran down his throat steadily and provided the usual feeling of warmth in his chest he needed right now. With the effect of the intoxicating liquid still tickling in his throat Lucas closed his eyes again.

* * *

**Los Angeles, March 2009**

He opens his eyes abruptly when he hears the sound of a loud bang. Slowly he turns around and gazes towards his blonde girlfriend curled up to his back. She is still asleep and breathing in slow and even waves with a peaceful smile on her face. With a quick motion he carefully tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and lightly kisses her on the tip of her nose. Unconsciously she licks her lips and lets out a soft moan inching closer to his warm body.

Another shuffling sound breaks the silence and makes Lucas look up suspiciously to the door of the bedroom. Without trying to wake his sleeping girlfriend Lucas untangles his limbs from her embrace and gets up. His eyes are not yet accustomed to the darkness but he is able to catch a glance at a figure hastily leaving the apartment. He pauses for a split second after he hears the noise of the closing door to listen for any other sounds inside the apartment. His eyes scan swiftly the surroundings for the unwelcome intruder until he decides to approach the hallway. Only dressed in black shorts and a white v-neck t-shirt Lucas tiptoes to the door his heart beating frantically. As he hears the faint sound of dry heaves he holds his breath and leans closer to the door to eavesdrop. After some time the person standing on the other side of the door lets out an almost inaudible sigh and walks away. Lucas sneaks a peek through the peep hole but only catches a short glimpse of brown hair whooshing away. Nervously he waits for another moment and contemplates the idea of going back to the warm bed and his blonde girlfriend. However the curiosity gets a hold of him and he quietly opens the door to discover who the intruder is.

As he steps out into the stairway a gust of wind hits his body and sends chilly shivers down his spine. With his bare feet touching the cold tiles a feeling of discomfort washes over him and makes him shake the remaining sleep out of his body. Lucas uncomfortably shifts his weight from one foot to the other but stops dead in his tracks when he hears stifled sobs from the bottom of the stairway. Faintheartedly he moves closer towards the handrail and props both of his elbows down on it to steal a glance at the source of sobs. For a moment his gaze drifts helplessly through the dark stairway until he spots a tiny and petite figure sitting on the ground next to the entrance. As the sobs don't seem to stop Lucas quietly walks down a couple steps to get a better view at the bottom of the stairway. He leans his body a bit over the handrail and actually catches a glimpse at the person sitting there because from this angle the moonlight emblazes the silhouette much more. His grip tightens on the handrail as he identifies the person as a delicate girl with shoulder long brown hair arranged in big curls. She has her face buried in her hands and keeps on shaking uncontrollably while letting out soft sobs. Lucas furrows his brows and feels stings of sadness and compassion piercing through his heart. His body grows stiff and the weird feeling occupies his mind that somehow all of this seems familiar. The moment he decides to approach the girl she wipes the tears swiftly off her face and starts to rummage in her purse for something he can't quite make out. A second later he hears a faint dialing tone of a cell phone and an impatient sigh of the girl.

Anxious to be discovered by the now silent stranger Lucas retreats a bit and hides in a dark corner of the stairway.

"_Oh Rachel how I'm glad that you answered this call"_ the girl exclaims gratefully.

Lucas almost trips as he hears the raspy voice of the supposedly unknown girl. To not loose his balance he leans his right arm onto the wall and waits for a while to withstand the dizziness rushing through his entire body.

"_Nothing. I'm fine…it is just that I stumbled upon a change of plans."_ the shaky voice located a couple of feet beneath him whispers quietly.

Lucas still transfixed and completely shocked absent mindedly runs his fingers through his mussy hair.

He hears the brunette taking a couple of deep breaths to regain her composure before she starts to speak again.

"_Yeah Rach…I'm fine…really…there is nothing wrong. It is just that I bumped into some unpleasant memory from the past. Now I'll have to leave L.A. a bit earlier than I planned to."_

Finally the tension capturing Lucas's body and mind releases itself and lets him move a bit again towards the handrail.

"_No…it is not Chase. I'm sorry I really didn't want to ask you for it….but is the room in your apartment still vacant?"_ the brunette mumbles every now and then her voice cracking a bit.

Lucas is still bewildered by the sudden appearance of Brooke and crinkles his nose trying to decipher her words and the trigger for her breakdown. She is saying something about her ex-boyfriend Chase but he can't quite wrap his mind around it.

Brooke tries to talk again but just swallows hard and lowers her head. For some time she lets out a couple of dry heaves and ultimately starts shaking again.

"_Yeah it is fucking Lucas…damn it Rachel...he moved in today with Peyton…and I knew it right from the start…but I kind of tried to block out the thought and therefore moved out of the apartment today…"_ she stutters pausing every now and then to release a sob.

"_I was too proud to tell you about it Rach…and then I came back for my sketchpad…and…and I saw them there together in bed sleeping…"_ she tearfully rambles on.

Lucas doesn't quite know what he feels or thinks when hears these words. It takes a while until the words seep into his brain and it processes all of it. In deep shock and utter surprise he squints and slides down onto the ground. His head spins again madly and he has to close his eyes to not give into the feeling of dizziness.

"_I know…I know…I'm sorry…I know that I should be over him but it still breaks my heart seeing them together…"_ the brunette says with desperation and frustration evident in her voice.

Lucas doesn't even try to open his eyes and to take a look at the girl sitting on the ground at the bottom of the stairway. He knows that if he would do this there wouldn't be a chance that he would not remember the night they broke up and he let her go with nothing more than just a simple "Thank you". He feels like somebody pulled the rug from under his feet. A numb feeling rushes trough his body and destroys instantly any of his attempts to even grasp a clear thought.

"_I didn't expect anything at all Rach…it is just that I…I thought that he was different…"_ Brooke replies in a low voice almost inaudible for Lucas.

He grabs the handrail firmly and puts his hand over his mouth to not make any sound.

His pulse increases frantically and his heart skips a beat. He feels mortified and ashamed of himself for hurting the girl that is now shedding tears.

And again the so familiar feeling creeps into his mind that he screwed over another important thing in his life.

"_Thanks Rach…I…I don't know what to say…I'll get on the next plane to New York …"_ Brooke whispers under her breath

The next moment Lucas hears the sound of Brooke getting up and walking out of the apartment complex.

As the door slams shut he slowly opens his eyes and stares into the darkness of the stairway.

* * *

**Tree Hill, October 2011**

The raindrops are still pounding loudly on the rooftop indicating that the storm is far from over. Lucas is lying in his bed wearing not much more than a pair of grey sweatpants and a worn out black wife beater. The whole room is dark except for some parts which are illuminated by the tender moonlight making its way through the curtains. Every now and then a clap of thunder breaks the ongoing silence and makes Lucas look up. His head is comfortably resting against the wall and this current position is giving him a good view over the screen of his laptop lying on his stomach.

He opens his inbox to check his E-Mails in search of something that will keep his mind off the unpleasant memories from the past. He skims through the enormous amount of Spam-Mail and almost deletes a message titled _"Dumbass start writing again asap"_.

Lucas opens up the mail and chuckles immediately when he sees the picture of Lindsey holding his next paycheck in her hands having a ridiculous fake frown on her face.

He scrolls down a bit to read her message still having a grin on his face and wondering how he ever deserved to get such a good friend and considerate editor.

_Hey dumbass! Already missing the Californian sun and your very pretty editor? Don't think so because you don't even show up at my office when you are in L.A and you haven't even called me after I dropped you off at the airport. Thank you very much Luke. Anyways…enough with the rambling and lets get down to business. Mark from the publishing company called me and wanted me to forward you the message that they will have to terminate your contract if you don't give me a couple of pages to work with. _

_I'm really sorry Luke to break this news to you but I think that you could see this already coming. So get your lazy ass up and write…anything. I don't know what about...maybe your recipe for the strongest margaritas I ever tasted or coverage about your stupid basketball obsession…_

_Just write anything down. Please. I don't want you to throw away your talent and dreams._

_Lindsey_

Lucas rubs his temples with his fingertips and laughs sarcastically. Sure he already saw this coming but reading it now isn't less disastrous. Somehow he believed that everything would resolve itself and therefore he pushed this subject far away from him. But like most things in his life that matter to Lucas he denied the fact that he screwed up once again.

Lucas grabs the hip flask standing on the nightstand and takes a big gulp.

He opens a new page in the Word program and stares at the blank screen.

He chuckles once again remembering Lindsey's proposition and starts to type down some words.

_I suck….._

Quickly he erases them and takes another swig from the bottle.

He doesn't know if the drunkenness is clouding his mind or he is slowly going crazy but he decides to give it a shot and write something.

It can't be worse than his usual bullshit he puts down on paper when being sober.

"_I kind of am stuck right now in this downward spiral called writer's block._

_Writing my last book was pretty easy because I just had to put down my thoughts on paper and pour all of my emotions into it. At that time Brooke broke up with me for a reason I still don't know and understand to this very day. I was heartbroken and felt like the way a teenager feels when he loses his first big love. It was like I lost the only stable thing in my life especially in a time when I tried to work out my own personal problems with the loss of Keith and the revelation of my heart condition. I tried so hard to get back on track and become the man I always wanted to and everybody expected me to be._

_Lucas Scott…honorable, ambitious, selfless, courteous…_

_I wanted to change so much back then but the moment she left me I stopped believing in myself and lost the ability to gather any strength left in me. Saying that I started to write because of her would be a lie…because I started to do it more for myself…to face my fears and defeat my inner demons. However the moment she walked out of my door and I wasn't able to come up with any words to hold her back I put all of my emotions and virtue into writing this book. I wanted it to contain everything I ever wanted to say to her. It should be a way for me to open up to her…to finally let her in. But in the course of time I collapsed under the pressure of being once again alone on my own. She didn't give me the slightest sign of hope during senior year and therefore I found a confidante in Peyton. At first I kind of maintained a relationship with her to have a friend around me who would never let me down and be always there for me. But her love confession and the fact that Brooke was messing around with Chase made me open my eyes and face the fact that she would not come back to me. It was easy to fall for Peyton because I didn't have to fear her ever leaving me. She was kind, supportive and everything I really needed at that time. _

_The moment the thoughts of Brooke left my mind and the love for Peyton crept into my heart I stopped trying to write about the things that mattered to me. I didn't care so much any more about my need to change myself and just focused on my current life._

_As I finished writing my book it wasn't really anymore about what it supposed to be._

_Nevertheless I at least let Brooke read the only lines left about her at the party after the graduation. _

_This night I must admit that I had a tiny spark of hope in the back of my mind that she would grasp what she means to me. Somehow I believe that back then it was already too late._

_Now I don't feel the need at all to write. What should I write about? The slow progression of myself losing my way in the relationship with Peyton? How she blossomed and her career took off while I struggled to keep my shit together? I don't think that all of this matters to me anymore. I lost my spark, my passion and my drive to write. And I don't have definitely any need to write fiction._

_I've never been around a bunch of violence, political intrigue or medical drama. I just can write about my own personal experience and capture the moments that are important to me. _

_But I lost it and I lost myself. _

_Yet somehow I'm at the moment typing down these words in search for something more._

_Something that will crack this shell I'm living in because I honestly can't take it anymore._

_Looking at her tonight was breathtaking and disturbing at the same time._

_Seeing in her eyes this little glimpse of care and concern made my heart almost leap out of my chest. She does not really know it but this look gave me more sympathy and a feeling of security than anything in the last couple of years. There is a difference between a person seeing you and looking straight into your soul. She really touched me tonight and I know that this made me blurt out my beloved nickname for her. Nevertheless I managed to scare her and this is something I can't really deal with. I just hate myself for hurting her again…_

_This look, these dark hazel eyes with the bright green spots gazing at me with an expression of deep sorrow…I know that if I close my eyes tonight and try to sleep it will be even worse than every other night._

_You know the moment when you toss and turn to find the right sleeping position in your bed and you are finally settling down and coming to rest? The moment when you close your eyes and wait to drift off into sleep? This is the moment I always think about her. I know it is pretty random and maybe stupid but this is the time when I picture in my head what she is doing and if maybe she is also falling asleep. And during these few seconds I only allow myself to think about if she still remembers me or if I'm still on her mind…_

_It is the only thing that keeps me somehow connected to her and makes me feel like she is with me…"_

* * *

She sits at this little restaurant down by the river and yawns noisily. People are passing by every now and then going out for a walk with their dogs or for a jog in the glistening sun. Brooke lazily takes a few sips from her steaming coffee and stretches her legs. Sleeping late and enjoying this luxurious breakfast really refreshed her spirits and brightened her mood to a great extent. Somehow she sees the things that happened last night now from another perspective and it surprises Brooke a bit that she is so calm and serene about it. Maybe it is the swooshing of the waves caused by the numerous boats on the river or the squawking of the seagulls but Brooke feels really content and at ease. The rays of sunlight are shining on her face and sending a tingling sensation to her body. She puts downs her sunglasses and closes her eyes to bathe in the sun. Doing things like these that she would normally never have enough time for in New York make her miss life in a small town but also remind her of her upcoming departure. Work for the summer collection is piling up in New York and Brooke is therefore eager to spend the remaining hours in Tree Hill with her best friends and her adorable godson.

* * *

Haley is still fixing some minor things for dinner when Brooke arrives a little bit too early at the house. She curiously opens the door to the kitchen and sneaks a peek into it. The brunette is standing with her back to Brooke next to the oven eyeing the lasagna full of expectation. A big smile creeps over Brooke's face and she tiptoes towards her friend.

With a quick motion she swings her arms around Haley and squeals in delight. Haley lets out a loud cry and turns around abruptly causing her to bump her head into Brooke's.

"_Jeez. Brooke"_ she exclaims furiously.

"_Ouch…Tutor mom you still got a thick head."_ Brooke responds snorting with laughter rubbing her forehead.

"_Brooke…you scared me… you klutz."_ Haley says faking a frown until she bursts into a fit of giggles.

"_What's so funny?"_ Jamie mumbles running into the kitchen with a miniature basketball in his hands. He is wearing one of his oversize jersey's Skills bought him for his birthday and pulls repeatedly the sliding straps up.

Brooke's face beams with joy and she walks up to her godson to pick him up into a tight embrace.

"_Jamie…What did I tell you about entering the kitchen with your muddy shoes on?"_ Haley says with a small grin on her face.

"_I'm sorry momma." _the little boy answers apologetically shrugging his shoulders.

"_Oh come on tutor mom don't be such a party pooper"_ Brooke laughs ruffling through Jamie's hair with her hands.

"_Okay…you are excused this time mister. But you have to thank your auntie Brooke for that"_ Haley says with a friendly tone in her voice while throwing her hands in the air as a sign of defeat.

Jamie grasps at the hem of Brooke's white summer dress sprinkled with small red dots and drags her out into the backyard.

"_Come on Auntie Brooke let me show you how fast I can swing"_ he shrieks excitedly.

Haley crinkles her nose and laughs wholeheartedly.

"_Don't be late guys. Dinner is ready in a couple of minutes"_

* * *

All of them are already seated when the doorbell rings.

Nathan gets up and walks slowly towards the door. For a second he pauses and lets out a quiet sigh before he opens it. Lucas stands in front of him looking a little dumbfounded and holding a bottle of wine in his hands.

"_Hey man"_ he says in a low voice gazing at the ground and handing his brother the bottle.

Nathan looks at him intensely and just gives him a quick nod before he steps aside and lets Lucas enter the house.

Lucas hesitantly walks into the dining room and just stares at his family sitting at the table chatting happily.

Jamie jumps up from his chair and launches himself into Lucas's arms.

"_Uncle Luke you are here..."_ the little boy exclaims delightedly.

Lucas is a bit taken back by the warm welcome and grins nervously.

"_Hey J. Luke"_ he responds the tension evident in his voice.

"_Come on uncle Luke you can sit with me next to aunt Brooke"_ Jamie says climbing up his chair trying to sit straight.

Lucas nods and walks up to Haley to embrace her in a hug. The brunette gives him a quick peck on the cheek and looks at him suspiciously.

As he approaches his seat he doesn't really have the heart to look Brooke into the eye after what happened last night. Therefore he is even more surprised when he sits down and she nudges him lightly.

"_Hey stranger"_ she mumbles with her raspy voice as cheerful as ever.

He catches a glimpse of her smiling face and whispers a faint _"Hey Brooke"_.

At the beginning of the dinner Lucas feels pretty much tense and uncomfortable.

His friends and family get along very well and engage in a lively discussion about the highschool days and the time in college. Somehow he doesn't ever get the chance to join them or he fails to come up with the right words to say. Either way Lucas feels once again like he doesn't really know them anymore and missed out on so many things in their life.

So he stays quiet and keeps on observing all of them not noticing that Brooke is eyeing him the whole time.

As Jamie proceeds to reach for his glass he knocks it over and spills orange juice all over the table-cloth.

"_Oh Jamie…you are a klutz just like your mother"_ Brooke giggles teasing the little boy while sticking her tongue out to him.

"_Brooke…don't ever offend my boy and my wife, okay?"_ Nathan exclaims with a fake tone of anger evident in his voice while rolling his eyes.

Haley lets out some stifled laughs, gets up and walks to Jamie to clean up the mess.

_"I'm sorry momma"_ he whispers quietly while lowering his head.

"_It's okay honey. Don't worry. I bet your uncle Luke will gladly help me out here"_ Haley responds soothingly focusing her gaze on Lucas.

He looks at her full of surprise and coughs hard.

His sister in law is already walking towards the kitchen and turns her head around swiftly for a second.

"_You coming?" _

Lucas slowly raises his head and gets up from his seat. With a little insecurity visible on his face he follows her and closes the door behind him.

"_What's up with you Luke"_ the brunette asks with a calm voice furrowing her brows.

Lucas stays silent and leans onto the kitchen table folding his arms in front of his chest.

"_Luke…"_ Haley exclaims raising her voice a bit not averting her gaze at all.

Lucas runs his hand through his hair and bites absent mindedly his bottom lip.

He lets out a loud sigh and finally looks at Haley.

"_Nothing Hales"_ he whispers under his breath playing with the hem of his plaid shirt.

Haley moves a little bit towards him and carefully puts her hand on his shoulder.

"_Come on Luke…don't be silly"_ she mutters softly.

Lucas's body trembles a little and he squints his eyes while looking at her hand on his shoulder.

"_I don't know…it is just that…I don't feel like I belong here with you guys anymore. I haven't seen you for so long…and you all kind of moved on…and I'm just stuck"_ he blurts out suddenly.

The expression on Haley's face changes and becomes very sorrowful and anxious.

"_I know that we didn't keep in touch that much and drifted all apart Luke. But we are still your family."_ she speaks quietly rubbing circles on his back.

Lucas swallows hard and breathes in noisily.

"_Hales, have you seen the way Nathan looks at me? He hates me so much and I can't even be angry about it. I basically let you all down after the accident"_ Lucas states bluntly.

Haley leans onto Lucas and rests her head on his shoulder.

_"Luke, he doesn't hate you. He is just disappointed in you. You have to know that this was a tough time for him. Finding out that he won't be able to play basketball again and temporarily loosing the ability to walk wasn't easy. He really needed you"_ she replies slowly.

Lucas remains silent and stares into space.

"_But you know Nathan. Remember the summer after I left Tree Hill for my concert tour? He didn't want to talk to either me or you anymore. And you know how this all worked out. Give him some time Luke. I'm sure that he will come around. You just have to prove to him that you'll be around"_ Haley whispers into his ear.

Lucas nods in agreement more to himself and kisses lightly Haley's forehead.

"_I don't know Hales. It seems like he doesn't care anymore."_ he states tearily.

"_Just trust me Luke."_ Haley says assuredly patting Lucas's chest.

Lucas nods again and proceeds to walk to the dinning room.

_"And Luke. Please drop that disgusting smoking habit, will you?"_ Haley shouts dispraisingly.

Lucas turns around on his heels and stares surprisedly at Haley. She shoots him a small wink and a huge smile forms on his face.

* * *

After washing the dishes and eating dessert the whole family decides to enjoy the warm weather and possibly one of the last days of summer in the backyard. Jamie is excitedly playing with his father basketball while Haley is lazily sprawled on a blanket reading a book. Brooke is sitting next to her Indian style skimming through a fashion magazine.

Lucas is sitting on the swing nearby watching all of them quietly enjoying the peaceful atmosphere.

As Brooke gets up and approaches him he starts to swing abruptly to distract himself from looking at her. The whole afternoon they didn't really talk much at all despite some short conversation about work and the life in New York and L.A.

He is really taken back that she somehow isn't angry at him for treating her so bad last night and therefore chose to stay silent and behave friendly.

"_Aren't you a bit too old for these things"_ she chuckles loudly showing her perfect dimples while pointing her finger at him.

Lucas looks awkwardly at Brooke and catches a tiny mischievous glint in her eye.

She moves closer to him and leans in a bit.

"_Don't tell anybody…but I love swings"_ she whispers quietly while putting a finger on her lips with a playful expression on her face.

Lucas senses a warm tingling feeling on his skins and offers her a half smile.

"_How come I didn't know this?"_ he asks curiously with a pout on his face.

Brooke slumps down on the vacant swing next to him and folds her arms.

"_You didn't ask me mister"_ she responds while faking a sulk.

Lucas rubs his temples and moves his head a bit to the side to look into her eyes.

She has this flirty expression on her face that he missed so much.

He squints his eyes and shrugs his shoulders.

"_Guess I didn't ask you then…"_

Brooke inches a bit closer to him and gives him a light slap on the arm.

"_Tell me Luke…how is your life treating you?"_ she mumbles nibbling on her bottom lip a little bit.

Lucas fidgets with the sleeve of his shirt and remains silent.

"_Honestly Brooke…it really sucks."_ he laughs wholeheartedly.

The brunette looks at his whole appearance and notices the bruised knuckles on his right hand. She flinches a little and lets out a sigh.

_"That bad huh?"_ she asks pitifully.

Lucas nods and averts his gaze.

Brooke doesn't know at all what she is doing but somehow she takes his hand into hers and strokes softly his knuckles.

His skin is a bit rugged and the palms sweaty but her small and delicate hand still perfectly fits into his.

Lucas body grows stiff immediately and he unconsciously holds his breath. Touching her after all these years still sends shivers down his spine and makes his knees turn to jelly.

"_You know…sometimes I wish that everything kind of worked out differently. Me living in New York and all of our friend scattered across the country…it somehow doesn't seem right…I miss the summers over here and Tree Hill in general…" _the brunette rambles on staring into space but never losing grip on his hand.

Lucas still doesn't have the heart to move but at least manages to look at her and notices the sadness evident in her eyes.

"_So you are leaving tomorrow again, right?"_ he stutters his voice cracking a bit.

Her eyes flutter for a second and she kinks her eyebrow. He is astonished that he still is able to read her mind and recognizes it that she is struggling hard to keep it together.

"_Yeah"_ she replies tearily.

Lucas fingers twitch in Brooke's grip and he proceeds to rub small circles in her palm.

The brunette gazes at him and offers him a small smile.

"_Well too bad…but I guess that Jamie would like to see his godmother on Thanksgiving."_ he whispers assuredly.

The small smile on Brooke's face slowly forms into a huge smile and makes her beam with joy.

_"I'd like really like that"_ she answers genuinely tightening the grip on his hand.

* * *

**Author's note:**

Othfan326: I'm excited that you liked the previous chapter that much…well somehow I remembered Whitey always drinking whiskey in his mug with Keith or all by himself and added it…man I miss the old man on the show…hope you like the Brucas in this chapter

Chey: You are a brave girl…look I included the storm into my story …and much more heartache…thanks again for your kind words.

Whitney: I see that you really carefully read my story and I like that…hope that the revelations in this chapter satisfied you a bit…I know it isn't a big thing that happened but I think its is still important…Nathan/Lucas/Haley storyline will definitely be a big part in the next chapters.

TutorGrrl: Wow…really…just wow…thanks for your amazing review...I still can't believe that my writing can provoke emotions and therefore this means a lot to me…

Lynn: My beautiful brunette…my babe…are you ok? Is everything fine and are you safe? I'm a bit worried because you disappeared for a while…don't let work get you down…

Your reviews are bliss and constantly push me to work on my writing and to improve…you know that you are the reason that I started all of this and I can't tell you enough how thankful I am…it still amazes how you are able to read my mind and point out all of these awesome things to me…I appreciate and care for you baby…

Lots of love, hugs and kisses (what about the make-out session?)…


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